Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 311(@300wpm)
“He’s not bad to look at either,” drawled Jess. “And I’ve only seen him fully clothed.”
“I can confirm he is quite nice to look at with no clothes on,” I said, laughing. “Ten out of ten.”
“Then what are you doing here with us?” Kayla prodded. “Go talk to him. Right now. Get out of here.”
“But it’s so scary.” I chewed the end of my straw. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way I do?”
“Then you’ll know it’s not meant to be,” said Jess with a shrug. “But at least you won’t always wonder what might have happened if you’d been brave enough to ask.”
When my driver brought me home, Xander was there waiting to introduce me to my new head of security—a huge guy named Marius with dark skin, a deep but gentle voice, and sharp brown eyes. Xander had told me all about him, and after a few minutes, I could see why he’d been the favorite candidate. I especially loved his reaction when I asked to see a photo of his little girl—he immediately pulled out his phone and showed off pictures of an adorable baby just learning to crawl, as well as his beautiful wife.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” I said with a tired smile. “Welcome aboard.”
He nodded, returning the smile. “Thank you.”
“Tomorrow, Marius and I will go over to the auditorium where the awards are taking place and check things out. I spoke to Wags about getting us security clearance. He says it won’t be a problem.”
“Okay.” My voice cracked, and my throat felt dry. I needed some water. Maybe some ibuprofen too. I had a headache.
Xander was looking at me carefully, like he knew something was wrong. Could he tell I’d been crying? He turned to Marius again and held out his hand. “Thanks for coming today. I’ll see you at nine tomorrow, and we can do the paperwork after that.”
“Sounds good.” He shook Xander’s hand and nodded at me. “See you tomorrow.”
After showing him out, Xander took my elbow and led me straight up to my bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he took me by the upper arms and looked at me with serious dark eyes. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I opened my mouth to start the conversation, but instead of the careful words I’d rehearsed on the way home, I burst into tears and threw myself into his arms. Face in my hands, I sobbed against his broad, comforting chest while he held me, saying nothing. He stroked my hair and my back. He rocked me gently. He made deep, soft shushing sounds that sounded like waves on the shore. I cried it out until my eyes went dry and his shirt was soaked, and all I had left in me were a few leftover shudders.
Finally, he kissed the top of my head. “Did the dress not fit?”
I laughed and hiccupped at the same time. “No. It fit fine.”
“So what’s this about?”
Tell him now, I thought. Just say it. Be brave.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m worried about what will happen when you leave.”
“You’ve got nothing to worry about. The cameras work perfectly, and Marius is familiar with the system. Your alarm system is working, your doors are all secure, your staff all passed background checks. I did ask your landscaper about getting a taller fence for around your pool, and he’s going to work on that. When it comes time for your tour, Marius is going to hire a couple more guards. You’re safe, or I wouldn’t leave you.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
His hands stilled on my hair.
“Just listen for a moment, Xander, okay?” Leaving my head tucked beneath his chin—it was easier if I didn’t meet his eyes—I spilled my guts. “I know what I’m about to say sounds crazy. My life and business and family are here in Nashville, and your life and business and family are up in Michigan, and trying to make something work between us would be hard. We’d always be saying goodbye to each other. I’d miss you all the time.”
“I’d miss you too,” he said quietly.
“And it’s not just the distance between Nashville and Cherry Tree Harbor. In a few months, I’ll be on tour again, and the separation might feel even worse. I mean, I’ve got trust issues. I’ve got deep-seated insecurities that have nothing to do with you and aren’t your fault. It would be hard.”
“The separations would be hard.”
“Plus, we’ve only known each other a few weeks. Maybe what I think I’m feeling isn’t really what I’m feeling. Maybe it’s just that the sex is so good. Maybe it’s just that I trusted you so fast and so completely. Maybe it’s just that I feel so damn safe when I’m with you, and I’m scared to lose that feeling. I don’t know what I’m saying . . .” I pulled away and looked up at him. “I just know I don’t want to say goodbye.”