Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
When I’ve got everything, I put on my backpack and head to the door for my keys. I put on my slides, and I almost grab my Xbox, but I may even need a break from that too. Especially since it reminds me of her. Her breaking it the first night and then giving me that one since I wasn’t an intruder. I almost smile at the memory, but instead, I walk out the door, locking it behind me and heading down the hall. The emotion is literally choking me, but I don’t stop moving. As I wait for the elevator, everything inside me is falling apart, and I know I just need to get out of here.
But then the elevator doors open, and Austen is there.
Fuck.
I don’t know how, but it’s as if I forgot how gorgeous she was in that dress.
“Oh!” she gushes in surprise. “I didn’t—” Her words fall off as her brows knit together tightly. “Where are you going?”
I can’t look at her, so I look down. Like a fucking coward. “Flynn needs a ride from the wedding.”
I’m a fucking lying dick.
She doesn’t answer me right away. Instead, I watch as she takes a step forward, her hand coming up to my chin, and I don’t stop her. I allow her to do so. She brings my face up so I look at her dead on, and she still looks perplexed. “Are you okay?”
I clear my throat, trying to breathe and not suffocate her with my mouth. “Not really,” I admit, and her lips part.
Part so perfectly for me to kiss. “Can I help you?”
I hiccup on my sob, squeezing my eyes shut as I shake my head. “No, Janie. You can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, I’m not.”
When she lets me go, she drops her hand to her wrist, popping that rubber band that she must have put back on after the wedding, and I want to fucking die from the pain of seeing her do it. I’m causing her to do it. Shit, I’m not even a dick; I’m the tick on the dick. Ugh, I hate ticks, probably as much as I hate myself right now. I reach out, wrapping my fingers around her wrist to stop her. “Don’t do that.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” I urge. “Don’t.”
“Dimitri, talk to me.”
My jaw ticks, and my heart is so heavy in my chest. “Is your grandpa overprotective of you?”
Her face scrunches up. “As much as any grandfather would be.”
“Elli said your grandpa just got you back.”
Her eyes widen just a bit. “He did,” she answers cautiously. “Why does that matter?”
“It probably doesn’t, Austen. I don’t know,” I say, running my hands down my face, completely confused. “Did your parents pass away?”
She pauses for only a second. “My dad did, but my mom is still very much alive.”
That doesn’t help me at all. “Why aren’t you with her?”
Tears well in her eyes, and I feel like a fucking jackass. “Because she allowed me to be sexually and physically abused,” she says as matter-of-factly as she can while tears well in her eyes and spill over. “So, my peepaw took me in.”
I close my eyes. I’m not a jackass. I am the slushy part of the ice that gets shoved off at the end of each period. The ice full of blood, spit, and boogers. I’m fucking trash. “Fuck, Austen.”
When I open my eyes, her lips are quivering.
“He saved me when I ran from them.”
It makes sense why Elli and my parents are worried. Her grandfather is protecting her because she’s already been through enough shit. And I definitely don’t want to add to the shit she already has been through. I don’t think I will; I think I’ll make her life brighter. But what if I do? I can’t breathe as my gaze stays locked in hers. I don’t know what to do.
In a small voice that nearly does me in, Austen whispers, “Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head vehemently. “Never!” I cover my face once more, feeling like I don’t even know myself. Like I don’t even know what I want. “Fuck, I’m so confused, Austen. Fuck!” I roar, and she jumps. Great, now I fucking scared her. I move past her, hitting the button and not chancing another glance at her as the door shuts.
I can’t.
I know if I do, I won’t go.
twenty-five
Austen
I couldn’t stay in the apartment without Dimitri.
I felt so alone without him there.
I didn’t even make it past the doorway before I turned around and left for my peepaw’s house. I didn’t sleep when I got here. I just sat in my room, trying to figure out what happened but coming up with nothing.
I look out at the endless tobacco fields that surround my peepaw’s house. This farm has been in the family for centuries and is part of why my peepaw is such a success. My mom worked these fields with him, and that was the reason she left with my father. She said she wanted a different life than picking tobacco, and my father had told her that New Beginnings was an awakening, something that changes lives.