Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 78732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 262(@300wpm)
"I don't want you to be safe."
I do my best not to stiffen, and I'm praying he's got a buzz strong enough from drinking with his teammates that he doesn't notice the tautness in my muscles.
"Because I want you to stay. I know I'm not supposed to. I shouldn't want you here, but I do. Kaylee," he says, and my name on his lips sounds like a purr, something that easily lights my body on fire. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to need you like I do."
He shifts his weight behind me as if trying to get comfortable, trying to come to grips with the same damn thing I've been battling, and I can't help but smile that he's in the same boat as me.
It doesn't change the fact that he hasn't been brave enough to speak these words until he's been drinking, but then again, I haven't opened my mouth to voice them either.
This could change everything.
But I still can't quiet that same voice that warned me that night when Troy showed up on my doorstep.
Ellis doesn't have a wife. He isn't brokenhearted about his marriage going south, and, honestly, it's not fair that I compare the two men. They're worlds apart in integrity and the way they treat me. Troy was always looking for something for himself, and Ellis spent countless hours trying to keep me safe.
Troy wouldn't have hesitated to push the sex issue, and Ellis stopped us more than once because I had rules in place before my mind got muddled with his sexiness. Even though I begged to take things further, he refused.
"You're so special," he says with a tired, heavy breath, as if he's starting to fall asleep. "I've never met a woman who has ever compared. I'm begging you, baby. Please stay with me. Please?"
I wait a minute longer, hoping he says more, because each word out of his sexy mouth plugs a hole left in my heart by my past.
When I finally get the courage to turn and face him, I notice his even breaths and the hint of a snore coming from his mouth.
I don't really regret not turning sooner. We have a long time to talk about this stuff.
I sweep his hair off of his face and fall asleep, curled into his chest, as if we've been lovers for a lifetime and it's exactly where I belong.
***
I can't recall the last time I woke with a smile on my lips and hope blooming in my chest, but here I am, stretching in the bed, arms over my head with my back arched, feeling like a million bucks.
I do a full-body check, making a point to flex every single muscle group I can think of and doing my best to ignore the ache right in the center of me.
I'm so happy with what he said to me last night that I don't even bother to feel bad that the other side of the bed is empty. It doesn't even occur to me to worry about why he's not there with me. He has a job to do and business to handle. We haven't woken up once together, so there are no alarms bells going off in my head, not after his whispered confessions last night.
Getting out of bed, I stretch again, loving the burn in my muscles from my vigorous swim in the pool yesterday. I don't know what our lives will look like going forward, but I pray the pool is part of the deal. I picture myself swimming in it after a very long shift at the grocery store, and by the time I climb into the shower, water covering my body, the images shift from a lonely relaxing swim to being joined by Ellis.
I turn off the water after my shower and try to turn off those thoughts. We can get to the sexy parts soon. What I don't need is to go in search of him panting like a sex-crazed lunatic and having the other guys in the house witnessing that.
I notice my cheeks are pink when I swipe the condensation off of the mirror and stare into my reflection, but there isn't a thing I can do about it. I always seem to be a little flushed around him, and I don't know that I want to tamp down the way I react to him any time soon. It makes me feel alive for the first time in as long as I can remember.
I pull on some clothes, grateful for the things that showed up in the closet the other day, considering the conversation that Ellis and I need to have. As much as I like t-shirts and sweats, the outfits aren't very conducive to the Nevada heat, despite that it's late October.