Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 597(@200wpm)___ 478(@250wpm)___ 398(@300wpm)
“Melanie wishes that you—”
“Melanie can wish and dream all she wants. I live in reality. She has no fuckin’ idea what it’s like for a man like me in this world. Just like Mama. I had to cut them off because all they did was nag and tell me what I need to be doin’, while neither one of them is doin’ shit, either. Mama is still with that mothafucka that messed our lives up, and Mel ain’t innocent, neither. She’s done her dirt, and I never held that shit against her. That’s my sister. My baby sister. She means the world to me, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her and my mother try and tell me how to live my life, when only I can, and its mine to fuck up!”
His voice rose suddenly, and a darkness shone in his eyes. “I was the fuckin’ man…” He brandished a sad smile. “I created a legion. People who worked for me. I didn’t have to sell shit but a pipedream. I’m in charge of my own life, even if it ain’t much to be in charge of…” He slipped his tongue along the edge of the blunt, and sealed it.
“Those days are gone. You have to start over.”
“You can take the dealer out the streets, but you can’t take the streets out the dealer, man. That’s all I know.”
“To me, you’re not defined by that. I look at you, and I see Legend. Forget your troubled past. I’m trying to talk to Legend. Not this puffed-up persona you wear to survive and get over. You ain’t got to try and hustle me. Besides, it’s a waste of your time. I know the game. I didn’t have to play full time to understand the rules.”
Legend cocked his head, lit the blunt, and smirked. “You know we only understand four things, man. It don’t matter the race or age of the man, either. Those four things are…” He placed his blunt down in an ashtray, and began to count off his fingers. “Power. Paper. Pussy. Property. And depending on who you ask, the last two are one and the same. I am used to all four of those. I can’t get them back because I fucked up, and now, things are the way they are. I’ve accepted it. I’m just survivin’ at this point.”
“Excuses. I hear a bunch of excuses. Legend, you are capable of some amazing shit. It doesn’t have to be this way. You’re a damn warrior, man! If someone won’t give you a job, create your own job! If someone won’t feed you, stop waitin’ around like a dog for a scrap, and go grow you a fuckin’ garden, and get a farm! You’ve always been hands on and take charge! You sittin’ here, looking crazy, drinking your problems away—but that shit is still there in the morning!”
“Let me tell you something, mothafucka!” He pointed an accusatory finger at him. “I am here, in this shit hole, because I am protecting myself from becoming my own victim and worst enemy! To stay away from the people who cheered me on, when they shoulda been puttin’ their foot in my ass! I lost my way… tryna get back on track, but you can think whatever you want.”
“I ain’t got to have a vivid imagination to come to this conclusion, man!” Axel jumped to his feet, his heart beating with anger. “I’m here listening to one of my best friends try to relive his felonious glory days, while in the same breath, feelin’ sorry for himself, blaming other people for why he can’t catch a break, and cussin’ me out because I dare to show concern and not want him to fall into this pit of despair and bullshit!”
“I don’t need your help or pseudo-psychological evaluations. Just tell me what the hell you want, and get the fuck out.” He snatched the blunt back from the ashtray, lit it, and began to smoke it.
At least a minute passed. No one said a word. They barely moved.
Axel slowly lowered himself to his seat, and tried to calm himself down.
Me yelling at him isn’t helping. I have to try and figure out what’s going on with him though, before I tell him about the dream…
“Man… please.” He placed his hands together as if saying a prayer. “Legend, I’m beggin’ you. Just tell me why you’re here and what your game plan is.”
After a few seconds, Legend’s eyes turned to slits, and he flopped back on the couch, looking lazily at the television as curls of smoke eddied from his mouth.
“I am trying to stay away from the old hood, where I did my dirt. I came with a plan, Axel, and it’s not working out so well.” He coughed, then settled. “You wanna hit this?” he offered.