Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“Yeah?” I asked, and I noticed a slow flush crawling across his cheeks.
“Not that he knew it,” he said in a lower voice. “Me neither, really. But you realize stuff about yourself later on.”
“Definitely.”
He glanced at me. “After I came out, he called and texted, offering his support, and fuck, I was grateful for that.”
“I’m glad to hear you had someone else in your corner. Do you still think about him in that way?”
“Hell no. It was only a boyhood crush. My crushes are much different nowadays.”
And this time when he applied pressure, it was thigh-to-thigh as well as shoulder-to-shoulder. Holy fuck, it made me feel warm all over.
For the next two hours, we got lost in the constant action of the show. And I had never seen anything like it. It was like a cross between a sporting event and a country hoedown.
Kerry was kind enough to explain everything going on, but when Zee came on for his bucking bronco event, he fell silent, almost reverent, and I could see the tension rolling off him. And damn, that had to have been so tough—crushing on someone and not being able to tell a soul in the world.
Zee hung in there and apparently broke his own record to deafening applause.
“I swear that bronco almost broke all of Zee’s bones,” I said as we jumped up and joined in on the rousing ovation. “And now I understand why these things draw a crowd.”
“Right? And yeah, he was born for this.”
And all at once my eyesight blurred and I was transported to a different time and location. I was in the desert, sitting next to Smithy as he cleaned his sidearm and said something similar. “I was born to be a soldier.” I could feel myself trembling, knowing what was coming in only twenty-four hours. It was the day before he was going to be blown to the high heavens.
“Hey, you all right?” I felt Kerry’s hand on my shoulder and heard his concerned voice, but it sounded tinny and far away. “It’s okay, Julian…we’re at the rodeo. You let me know if you need somethin’.”
The rodeo.
He gently nudged me to sit down, which brought me out of the memory. I blinked and looked around, my cheeks hot with embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”
“Never be sorry,” he said close to my ear. “It’s a side effect of your trauma. It’s part of you, and you shouldn’t have to apologize.”
Fuck, I could’ve kissed him for that.
“It’s gotten better,” I said, wanting to reassure him as well as myself. “It was worse when I first got home. I thought the busy streets were gonna swallow me up.”
“I can imagine.”
“I think the only reason Mom thought I was ready for this was because I seemed better,” I confessed. “Plus, she knew the city was too much for me. That leaving for something less noisy and crowded would do me good.”
“Was she right?”
“Yeah, definitely. So, thanks. For…well, everything.”
More shoulder pressure as we fell into a comfortable silence. I didn’t feel like I needed to explain or say much more. I could just sit there and get my head together again.
Once the rodeo was over, we followed the crowd out to the parking lot. I noticed how he lingered near the entrance to the field to see if he could spot Zee. But the popular cowboy was surrounded on all sides by a crowd of people congratulating him and wanting photos.
“Do you want to wait so you can—”
“Nah.” He pulled out his phone. “We’d be here all night.”
He scrolled to Zee’s name and sent off a text I sneakily read over his shoulder. Congrats. Amazing as usual. We’ll catch up soon.
18
Kerry
Damn, being at the rodeo with Julian, telling him about Zee and everything else we’d freely admitted to each other made me feel wired, needing release. I could barely take being next to him with scarcely a centimeter between us while surrounded by a stadium full of people. But we’d set the boundary from the onset of the drive—that we needed to move on from the kiss—so maybe a different sort of outing was in order for both of us.
I placed my hat on the seat between us and forked my fingers through my hair, hoping to make it look somewhat decent. “Feel like stopping somewhere for a beer?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” he replied, distracted as he looked out the passenger side window.
As soon as we got on the road, I went in the opposite direction of Cottonwood Creek, hoping I was making the right call.
“It’s a bar I frequent sometimes when I’m…” I trailed off, and when he got my meaning, his eyes widened. “What do you think?”
“I say go for it.”
I nodded, relieved he was into it. “Bet there’s tons of places in the big city.”
“Definitely…but I’m glad you actually found somewhere you…”