Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“No question,” Mom replied. “Maggie too.”
“Tell me again,” I said, suddenly recalling the dinner and all the awkward moments, “what was the family’s reaction to Kerry’s coming out?”
“Everyone was upset about the divorce,” she said, then paused. “And, well, I suppose if you’re going to come out, a small town in Wyoming where practically everyone knows your name is not the best scenario.”
“Yeah, I hear you. Would suck.”
“Apparently, Mr. Carmichael took it the hardest. Kerry’s their firstborn, and he had big ideas for him.” I winced. Fuck, so much pressure. “Mrs. Carmichael and one of the brothers…”
“Travis?” I somehow knew where she was going with this.
“Yes, Travis. The two of them have acted as buffers, so to speak. And the other brother sympathizes with the father.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly the vibe I was getting today.”
She sighed. “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know…well, none of my business, but I feel bad for the guy.”
“I told you he might need someone in his corner, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did.” I also didn’t want to step in any of this family’s private business, so I was cool to remain on the periphery. “He’s a good guy, is all.”
“So you’ve become friends?” There was a hopeful tone to her voice.
“Maybe. Give it time.”
With a bit of luck, time would also take care of this crazy attraction.
“So you’re not ready to come home yet?”
“Actually, I’m really enjoying the work.”
“Is this where I say I told you so?”
“Absolutely not!” I replied, and we laughed.
We talked a bit more about the silo and the animals, and just as we were about to hang up, I said, “One more thing. Do you know someone named Brad McGuire?”
“Oh yes, the McGuire family. If I’m not mistaken, the parents went through quite a nasty divorce. And I think Brad used to be sweet on Sienna back in high school.”
Okay, so maybe Kerry’s comment made sense.
“Why do you ask?”
“Oh, just trying to get to know everyone. He works for the Carmichaels and was there tonight.”
After we said good night, I closed my eyes for a brief minute, intending to get up and seek out Kerry before Sienna got home, but I must’ve fallen asleep.
10
Kerry
I was in a lousy mood and thought maybe Julian sensed it on the ride over. So after herding the goats back into the barn and the pigs down to Ainsley’s room, I headed straight to bed. It was normally rough when I visited my family on the ranch, not only because of the nearly constant tension from Hunter and my father, but also because Mom tried way too hard to smooth things over. I generally faded into the background to give her a break, and so everyone else could enjoy themselves too.
Having Julian there today offered a different dynamic because he was an outsider. Thankfully, much of the focus was placed on him, which didn’t surprise me. I knew Dad and Hunter would fawn all over the strapping soldier who’d served his country well. Who wouldn’t? He was an impressive man, who also happened to have other great qualities, so it was a wonder nobody had snatched him up yet.
But for Dad and Hunter, it was more than that. They’d agreed Julian was a man’s man because masculinity and rigid gender roles were important to them—or they’d never considered the alternatives. Of course, women had their place too, and Mom wouldn’t dare step too far out of line or she’d incur my father’s wrath, which mostly consisted of giving her the silent treatment, the very thing he’d had in store for me since I’d come out.
But I’d been privy to some of my parents’ arguments, where she’d pleaded with him to make things better with his oldest son, and I’d tell her later to let it go. Especially when he’d spout off about the conservative community, and their booming business, and how it was better if I kept my nose down and didn’t embarrass them or ruin the family name.
So that was essentially what I’d done the past few years, and it still wasn’t good enough.
Still, I showed up for Sunday dinners like clockwork, for my daughter. She didn’t need to see the vitriol between us. They would always be her family and there for her.
I snorted to myself and rolled onto my side, trying to get more comfortable, but it was no use. Brad showing up just as we were leaving was only icing on the cake. Seeing him always brought front and center all the mistakes I’d made over the years. He was the man Sienna should’ve ended up with. My stomach throbbed as I considered that alternative.
Had it not been for Sienna, I wouldn’t have a daughter I loved more than anything else in this world. Fuck, why did life have to be so complicated?
When I heard the crunch of gravel outside from Brad’s truck—speak of the devil—I held my breath, which was ridiculous. I wasn’t sure if anything was going on between Brad and Sienna—the flirting between them had definitely intensified in recent weeks—but I might’ve felt better if there was, even if I was terrified that Sienna might leave this farm with Ainsley to start a new family. We’d agreed to stick together until Ainsley came of age, but those were things uttered in agony in the middle of the night in a hospital waiting room, in a desperate plea as our daughter fought cancer.