Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 657(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 438(@300wpm)
“Austin thinks I whored myself out to you, and that you took advantage of me,” I murmur. “He said as long as I was still seeing you, he was done with me.”
“Fuck,” Izaac breathes, turning me in his arms. He takes my chin and lifts it until my red-rimmed eyes are locked on his. “Do you think I took advantage of you?”
I shake my head. “Austin said—”
“I don’t give a shit what Austin said,” he tells me. “I want to know what you think.”
Unable to hold his dark stare without crumbling, I drop my gaze back to his shirt as my hand slips beneath the material, skimming across his abs and up to his chest to feel the warmth beneath my palm. “I think I was the one who took advantage of you,” I tell him. “You came to me asking for a way that I could forgive you, and I backed you into a corner that I knew you couldn’t get out of. I forced this on you and fought with you every time you tried to pull away. You told me from the start you could never love me the way I wanted you to, and I didn’t listen.”
“I don’t want you walking away from this thinking that,” he murmurs. “I sure as fuck don’t see it that way, and if at any point I wanted to say no, I would have. I was selfish. I had a taste of you and I wanted more in every sense of the word.”
“And now you don’t?”
“It’s not that I don’t. It’s that I won’t,” he tells me. “Us together, we can’t make this work without tearing your family to shreds, and I won’t do that to them, and I won’t do it to you. You deserve someone who can love you the way you need. Someone you can walk through the door with who’s not going to send your family into turmoil. Or hell, someone you don’t need to lie about just to be with him. It’ll fucking kill me, but I want all of that for you. Falling in love with someone shouldn’t be so damn hard, Birdy. You shouldn’t have to fight so much just to have someone tell you they love you.” He takes a heavy breath, needing to step away. My hand falls from his chest, and when he meets my stare, his gaze is haunted. “I’m too fucking broken. I have issues, Aspen. Deep-rooted issues that are never going to go away, and yeah, when I’m with you, I get to pretend that they don’t exist, but they do. So go, Aspen. Go fall in love with someone who isn’t me. Go have your happy ending, build the big fucking house with the picket fence, and have all the children who look nothing like me.”
Every word that comes out of his mouth is torture, but we’ve never spoken about houses with picket fences or children, and I can’t help but wonder if this is the dream he wanted for us—the dream he so foolishly believed could come true.
“Please don’t do this,” I whisper. “I know you love me, Izaac. I feel it every time you touch me. You’re in love with me. Don’t push me away.”
“I have to.”
I find myself backing up until my ass hits the edge of my car. “You’re wrong,” I breathe, whimpering as my whole world burns to ashes. “You’re not broken, and no matter how hard you push me away, it’ll always be you. There is no happy ending for me without you.”
He shakes his head, devastation in his eyes. “Just go, Aspen. We’re done.”
And with tears streaming down my face, I turn and walk away.
33
ASPEN
Becs stares at me, a cringe pulling at her lips as she takes the small shot of tequila and lifts it to her lips. “So, uhh,” she says, pausing to deal with the burn that sails down her throat before sucking the lemon and licking the salt off the back of her hand. “Your brother just texted. Apparently, he’s headed to Vixen tonight to go for round two with Izaac.”
Well, shit.
“Good luck to them,” I say, reaching across the bar and grabbing my shot. “I hope they’re happy together.”
As I take my shot, Becs laughs. “Doubt it. I don’t see a reconciliation in their future. At least not anytime soon,” she offers. “Austin has been working out in his garage and beating the shit out of his punching bag, so I’m pretty sure he’s only going to get another crack at Izaac’s ribs.”
“If only he had someone who cared enough to warn him,” I say, watching as the bartender refills our shots and getting giddy as we each pour the salt onto the backs of our hands.
“That’s the spirit,” Becs says before pausing and letting out a heavy sigh. “I mean, the two of them going at it would be kinda hot though.”