Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Oh my God. Daddy makes the best chocolate-chip pancakes! I’ve missed them!” Carol added.
I watched them, loving how much of a unit they were for their kids, how much of a family they all were. It had never been like that in my household, no matter how much I knew my mom loved me.
I hung toward the back a little. Carol had just gotten into town, and I was sure they wanted some time together. I didn’t want to intrude, especially since Charlie was still getting used to me being around.
“Callum, you’re gonna come too, right?” Charlie surprised me by asking.
“Yes,” Carol replied. “You have to. I’ve heard so much about you. I’d love to have the chance to get to know you more.”
My heart did this excited flip-flop in my chest. “Yeah, of course. I’d love to.”
I was about to ask if Mom could come too when Knox added, “You too, Mary Beth. The whole family should be there.”
“I…” Mom started. I reached over and grabbed her hand.
“It wouldn’t be the same without you,” I told her, and she nodded.
“Okay, I’d love to go.”
Carol had taken a car service to the hospital. My car and Mom’s were the only two there. We split up into the two vehicles and drove out to the house.
Frankie Blue was yapping and jumping all over us when we got home.
“I’m starving,” Knox said. “Let’s get breakfast going. Wanna help me, Charlie-girl?”
“Yes!”
It was a wild mess after that. Logan contacted Dale to let him know he was okay. We all congregated in the kitchen and dining-room area. Knox and Charlie made pancakes. I didn’t mention proteins. Now wasn’t the time. There was laughter and stories, family jokes Mom and I weren’t in on, but Carol made sure to explain everything.
Knox and I had our own stories too. I really loved Carol. I could tell she genuinely wanted Knox to be happy. I thought she and I could be good friends. She spent a lot of time chatting with Mom too.
We all sat around the table and ate together. They teased me about how healthy I ate, and Carol said, “Oh, bummer. And I thought I liked you,” and we all laughed.
I was exhausted, having gotten no sleep the night before, but I didn’t want the morning to end. It was…perfect. Almost. After breakfast we went to the living room and started watching a movie together. I realized not long into it that Mom had disappeared.
I was sitting next to Knox, Charlie on the other side of him. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered before going on a hunt for my mom.
I found her in the backyard, sitting in one of the chairs there. She was bent over, and her head shot up when she saw me, her eyes ringed red.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I went over and sat next to her.
“Nothing.” She wiped her eyes. “It’s so good to see you happy…to see you with a family.”
“Mama, please tell me. I know there’s more to it than that. I know you’ve been keeping something from me.”
“I…” she began, then looked back at the house before turning to me again. “I think…now that you’re okay, that you’re happy, I realize how much I want that too.”
“I want that for you too. No one deserves to be happy as much as you do. I don’t think…I don’t think you ever have been, have you? Even when I was a kid, you weren’t happy. You put on a brave face for me to deal with Dad, but you weren’t, were you?”
“I was happy I had you.”
“I know, but that’s not the same thing.”
Mom closed her eyes, and I felt like the whole world stopped, like everyone froze but us. The moment belonged to us, and after everything, we deserved it.
“I’m, um…I’m like you,” she finally said.
“Like me?” I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I’m, well, I knew when I was young that I wasn’t attracted to men.”
My breath caught. My chest ached, but I tried to hold it in. She needed to have this, and I wanted her to be able to get this out.
“I thought there was something wrong with me at first. Back then it was different, and of course, where we lived and everything… I knew it wouldn’t be accepted.” I knelt in the grass in front of her as she continued, “I told myself it wasn’t true. That I could change. I married your father, and there was nothing I wanted more than you. I will never regret that decision, Callum. Ever. I hope you know that.” She started crying, her words hard to make out through her tears.
“I know that. I would never think anything different. You were the best mom ever.”
She huffed. “Thank you, sweetheart, but we both know that isn’t true. When you told me, when I found out you were gay, I was so scared. I knew your father wouldn’t be okay with it, and I wanted your life to be easy. I didn’t want you to have to deal with hate and bigotry. It all collided inside me…what I’d done, what I’d been denying my whole life. I will never forgive myself for what I told you. It is the moment I regret most in my life. That’s why I thought I should have known about you, because I’d felt the same things.”