Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
“We’re not having a baby.” Amy must have told her because I sure as hell didn’t. “It was just a scare.”
“Good,” she snips out. “I was worried.”
I smile against her fingers that have fanned out over my lips. “What are you doing?”
“Learning who you are.” Her fingers start to pull away, but I gently grip her wrist so she won’t stop. If she needs this to feel better, I’ll give it to her. “I spend a lot of time in the dark,” she says with a whisper. “Always alone. But now you’re here with me and I’m trying to understand why.”
“Because you’re my sister and we need each other,” I tell her simply. Then I playfully bite on her fingers.
She lets out a happy squeal that I haven’t heard since she was ten years old as she tugs her hand away and slaps my chest. “You bit me!” Hearing her laughter is like a shot of adrenaline to my system. Suddenly, like an addict, I want to hear it more.
I chomp the air, my teeth clanking together, enjoying her little giggles. She tries to push my face away when I start nipping the air closer and closer to her. I turn my head and bite her wrist. She tries to knee me in the balls, but I manage to pin her skinny leg between my two powerful ones. Her squirming stops and we both breathe heavily. I realize our awkward proximity and start to move away. But it’s like she doesn’t want to sever the link because she goes with me, her knee sliding higher. I wince, expecting my balls to get smashed, but she just rests her leg against them.
If Aunt Becky came downstairs, she’d have a fucking fit to see us like this. But it’s not like that. We just need the other right now. We’re not doing anything wrong. She’s my sister.
“Hudson,” she breathes, her hot breath tickling my neck. It reminds me of the way Amy does sometimes, which is a confusing thought. “I’m sick.”
“You’re not sick,” I assure her. “Depression may be an illness they’ve labeled you with, but you’re not sick. We can work through it.”
“Hudson…”
I wait for her to elaborate, the air thick with her intent. She simply exhales heavily and relaxes.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, heathen.”
Rylie
I can make it.
Just three more days.
Hudson will be home for spring break and we can do all the things he promised me.
“Open up and show me,” Aunt Becky demands, both hands on her hips as she glares at me.
“Ahhhh,” I say, sticking my tongue out, and then roll my eyes.
“Good, now get ready for school.”
She leaves me alone in the bathroom. I used to love my aunt, but now I can’t stand her. It’s like she thrives on controlling my every move. You’d think I would have some freedom, but ever since the day I took all my medication and landed myself in the hospital, I have none. She watches my every move. Dictates my every action. Tells me when I can breathe.
I close the door behind her and turn on the shower. As I undress, I stare at my body, unimpressed. I’m nearly a woman stuck in a child’s body. My breasts are barely B cups. You can see my rib bones and hip bones protruding. I’m not at all curvy like Amy.
Irritation flitters through me.
Amy weighs my brother down.
He deserves better.
Like you?
A shiver trembles down my spine. I seek out the warmth and privacy the shower will offer. No locks. No medicine. No sharp things. Dr. Livingston and Aunt Becky make sure I’m not a harm to myself. My legs are prickly as are my underarms. I wish badly to shave, but I’ve been grounded from that too.
With a heavy sigh, I wash my body in the fancy shower. Sometimes it feels like I’m staying in a swanky hotel. It’s so different here than where I lived with my family. Nicer and more expensive. But certainly not home. I close my eyes and try to recall the nights I spent curled up against Hudson in the basement before he left to go back to Arkansas. After that first night, it was like I needed him to breathe. I’d expected him to go back to his usual jerky ways, but he held me each night.
It was driving me to insanity.
What he sees as innocent cuddling with his sister is something completely different to me. I tried to warn him I was sick, but he shooed my comment away. He doesn’t understand. And clearly doesn’t feel the same way. But because of my sickness, I can’t push him away and find someone or something else to focus on.
Just him.
I reach up and grab the removable showerhead. It’s dirty and wrong, but I think of him touching me between my thighs. The hot water blasts my clit and I gasp. Desperate to feel more of the pleasure, I pull apart my pussy lips and assault my sensitive flesh with the water. It feels good, but what makes it feel better is pretending it’s his tongue. Licking me. Hot and wet. Never stopping.