Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Josh’s gray eyes ran through my thoughts. His smile, and that damn mole on his face that I liked to lick, and the way he made me laugh.
I fought to shove those images to the back of my brain. Josh had no business in my mind right then, but he was there, and I couldn’t deny that. I didn’t love him. I couldn’t, I didn’t think, but something about him made me want to do more than survive.
“I, um…I’m seeing Josh,” I admitted.
Remy looked my way and cocked an auburn brow. “Am I supposed to be surprised? The two of you have been dancing around each other for a while now.”
“Yeah, but I thought I was straight.”
“So did Knox. I always knew I was gay. There wasn’t ever another possibility for me. Law questioned a little before me, if he was bisexual, but he didn’t really let himself consider the option until me. Then he knew. There were both guys and women after me. Callum always knew, Kellan too. Chase was in his late teens when he realized. Knox was in his forties. Callum’s mom always knew, but she didn’t own her truth until her sixties. There’s no one way to do it. Or acknowledge it. We’re humans. We’re so delicate and different, and I don’t think we ever know what will happen. I didn’t expect to play my first gig in a coffeehouse and see the most beautiful boy in the world, a boy who had an even more beautiful soul. I wouldn’t ever have expected him to want me, but he did. Life is so damn hard sometimes. We need to learn to take the positive, take what feels good, when we have the chance. So, did I think you were straight? Yeah, but I also think we’re ever evolving, and when something’s right, it’s just right. You and Josh…maybe I’m off base, maybe I’m wrong, but something about the two of you has always felt right to me. But what do I know? I just believe that if it feels good, hold on to it and don’t let go.”
I stopped, and Remy did too. We stood there a moment just looking at each other. It didn’t escape my attention that Natalie, Chase, and now Remy had all thought something would happen between me and Josh. None of them had been surprised, and according to what Josh said about Callum’s comments, Callum likely felt the same.
I hadn’t seen it before, but I did now. I’d been jealous when Josh talked about men. I’d looked forward to spending time with him even when I used to pretend I didn’t.
Still, that didn’t change the fact that Josh was in love with someone else, and even if I wanted more, he wouldn’t be able to give it. “We’re not serious,” I finally replied.
I could see it in Remy’s eyes, this disbelief. Still, he only said, “Okay,” and I appreciated him for it. If he’d questioned me, I might’ve had to admit out loud that I wanted more with Josh. He just couldn’t give it to me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Josh
I knew I would be the last one to Griff’s that night. Everyone else’s vehicles were already in the lot when I arrived.
They were all in deep conversation about something. The bar was pretty full, but not crazy full for a weekend night. Griff looked up as I made my way toward them and gave me a small grin. My foot caught on something—I didn’t know what, maybe the air—and I stumbled slightly, making him chuckle.
“None of you look like you missed me entirely enough,” I teased.
“Who are you?” Kellan teased back as I leaned over and kissed his forehead.
“I love you too, babe,” I joked.
“We’re talking about Remy’s music,” Natalie said. “He’s thinking about doing a short set here at Griff’s soon.”
“No shit?” I cocked a brow at him. That was big news for Remy. There was such a difference in him since he’d come to Havenwood. It was really incredible to see.
Remy nodded. “Yeah, working on the whole living thing, instead of just surviving.” His gaze darted toward Griff, who gave him a simple nod. Interesting…
“Good for you, man. I’m proud of you. We’ll be your cheering squad.” I took the stool that had been held for me.
“Don’t say that. It’ll just scare me,” Remy replied, making everyone laugh.
Law leaned over and kissed him. “You got this.”
My eyes scanned down the line—Knox, Callum, Remy, Law, Chase, Kellan. “You guys are all mushy as hell.”
“Beer?” Griff asked, ignoring the statement.
“Yeah, thanks, Griffy.”
He smiled and shook his head like he didn’t know what to do with me.
I could feel Kellan’s stare on me. “What are you looking at?” I rubbed my hand over his hair, and he jerked back.
“What the fuck, Josh. I spent a lot of time on that.”