Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 87416 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87416 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“I was wondering if you had anything to share with me?” she asks him.
He tilts his head to the side and looks her up and down. His eyes starting at her pink heels and running up her cream-colored dress before meeting hers. “I might have something.”
She smiles and he gets to his feet, buttons his suit jacket, and walks around the table. “Excuse me, gentlemen,” he tells the Decker brothers. Taking her hand, he leads her to the dance floor.
I take another sip of my water as my eyes catch the most beautiful woman here. April stands across the ballroom. Her dark purple hair styled in an updo. Pieces falling down and framing her face. She wears a strapless, black silk dress.
I swallow nervously and stand, wanting to talk to her. I make my way around the dance floor and over to her. She has her back to me, talking to Jasmine.
Jasmine looks up and spots me coming. She brings the glass of champagne to her lips and tilts it back, winking at me. “I have to go,” she tells April the moment I get close.
“What? Where do you have to go all of a sudden?” she calls out to Jasmine’s back.
“She’s my wingman,” I tell her. Jasmine has always had my back. She understands that we’re not all the same. That some of us feel too much while others don’t feel at all.
April spins around and looks up at me. I reach my right hand out. “Dance with me?” I hold my breath. Still unsure how she feels about me. The horrible situation I’ve put us in. Sitting alone in a room with nothing but your thoughts for weeks on end hasn’t been good for me.
She doesn’t say anything, just takes my hand, and I pull her into me. God, I missed this. Holding her. Everything about her was addicting.
But what little hope I had dies when she speaks. “I can’t.”
I let go of her and run a hand through my hair. “Okay,” I say, hating that I’ve hurt her. I understand that just because I’m trying doesn’t mean I deserve the chance to make it right.
“I mean.” She sighs. “I need to talk to you, Grave.”
Her words don’t help the bad feeling in my gut that I’ve gone too far. I did too much. She isn’t Lucy. April demanded all of me and what I gave her was a watered down, drug induced version. “Yeah, sure. I guess there is a lot we need to discuss …”
“I didn’t get pregnant on purpose,” she rushes out.
I frown. “I never said that you did.” That thought never even crossed my mind. It took the both of us to make our baby. I knew the possibilities when I chose not to use a condom.
“I’ve been going crazy thinking. Finally I remembered that a few weeks before you came into Roses, I was sick. I was on antibiotics. I didn’t realize they could disrupt birth control.” She licks her lips. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking …”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“I don’t want your money, Grave. And if you want to walk away, I understand,” she adds.
“What?” I blink.
“I don’t want you to be stressed. If you don’t want to be part of his or her life, I also understand.”
She’s not making sense. What the hell has she been thinking while I’ve been in rehab? I should have reached out to her. But there was a very short list of people who I could have contact with. I wanted her to focus on the baby, not my recovery. “April …”
“I know things aren’t ideal.” She sniffs and averts her eyes to her heels.
I place my hands on either side of her face and she looks up at me, her ice blue eyes full of tears. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t want to put any pressure on you,” she whispers.
“You’re not.” I assure her. She’s the only thing that I know I can’t live without. I need her more than any hit I’ve ever craved.
She bites her bottom lip. “I’m afraid.” Her watery eyes dart around the room.
“Of what?” My chest tightens. “Of me? I promise you, April. I will be better for you and our baby,” I quickly reassure her.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” A tear rolls down her face.
“What do you mean?” Her bottom lip begins to quiver. “Hey, talk to me. Please.” Whatever it is, I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. But I can’t guess what she’s thinking.
She lets out a shaky breath. “I’m afraid you won’t love me sober.”
My tight chest constricts like a vice at her confession. How could she think that? What have I done to make her think I could love her any less? I love her more. I did this for her. I’m demanding more of myself because she deserves that. “April …”