Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 69004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69004 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
“Yeah,” Oliver told him. “Yeah, I do.”
*
They decided to hike Runyon Canyon. They hadn’t gone together since one of Matt’s early visits years ago, and it was something they’d both always enjoyed. They changed clothes and called a cab because it was hell trying to park.
Oliver hadn’t been lying when he said he’d been restless. Then he’d heard the movement outside his door and had known that Matt felt the same but that he likely wouldn’t come in. It would be too needy for Matt and well, Oliver was the opposite. When he felt something, he wanted to grab on, to show the world how he felt. It was funny how differently they could be built, but it didn’t change the strength of their friendship.
They’d just gotten out of the cab at Runyon when Oliver felt a nudge to his arm. He looked over at Matt who had an ear-to-ear smile on his face. It was really incredible when Matt looked truly happy about something. Still, Oliver knew looks could be deceiving.
“I’m excited,” Matt told him.
“To hike Runyon?” He knew that was what Matt meant so he wasn’t sure why he’d asked.
“Yes. The first time I ever hiked Runyon was with you.”
Oliver pushed his hands into his pockets. “Yeah…yeah, I remember. It was me, you and Chance.”
“No,” Matt told him. “That was the second time. The first it was just you and me. We’d been at your house. I had a shitty day. I think my dad pissed me off and you brought me. Don’t you remember?”
The memory came flooding back to him. How in the hell had he forgotten? It wasn’t often that Oliver let memories slip away. “Oh yeah,” Oliver replied. “You stepped in a hole and twisted your ankle. I practically had to carry you down.” Jesus, that had been a fun day.
“What? It wasn’t that bad! I hobbled on my own quite nicely.”
Okay, so maybe he’d exaggerated a little bit but it was more fun that way. “You did have your arm around me and I did take some of your weight.”
“My ankle was swollen!” Matt countered with a smile.
“See? So I saved the day. I like to pretend I’m the knight in shining armor sometimes.” Which was likely, not really a good thing and the sometimes was really always.
“You are,” Matt told him quietly as they began making their way up the trail. The sun was high in the sky and beating down on them, but there was a light breeze that kept the heat from being unbearable. His favorite thing about growing up in Southern California had always been the weather.
The look on Matt’s face changed, the set of his shoulders a little more serious when he admitted, “You always save the day. That’s why I had to leave.”
Discomfort slid down Oliver’s spine. Yes, he knew Matt felt like he needed to do things on his own but to hear him say the words the way he just did made his muscles seize up. As if he sensed how Oliver felt, Matt added, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I left because of me and only me. You didn’t drive me away. I needed to go but…you’re the glue that holds everyone together, Ollie. You have to know that. You’re exactly who Miles needs you to be and exactly who Chance needs you to be. You’re the same with me and it would have been too easy to let you continue to be my savior. It would have been too easy for you to continue doing it because your heart doesn’t work any other way.”
Oliver’s gut suddenly felt heavy, his feet like he was trying to walk through thick mud. “Why does that sometimes feel like a bad thing?” he asked as he made his way around some brush. Chance had never understood him—his need to be there for people. He didn’t give Oliver a lot of shit for who he was, but he didn’t get him. Miles made him feel like he should change who he was. He knew his friend didn’t mean for it to sound that way but it’s how Oliver often felt. And Matt? Matt had run away from him.
The fact that he cared seemed to be the core of a lot of the strife in his life.
“It’s not.”
“Isn’t it, though?” he asked. It wasn’t as if his heart had done him much good. It was more like his heart was a liability.
“Come on. You know better than that.”
Maybe he did but still, he didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond. There was no changing who he was and he also couldn’t change how people felt about that. He wouldn’t apologize for giving a shit about people, either.
They were silent for a few moments as they continued to climb the canyon. It was quieter here than it often was. There was no one directly behind or in front of them, but he did hear a dog bark in the distance. It was a popular place to walk pets.