Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 170885 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170885 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
“Lower your fucking voice.” Levi glares at him as Astrid and Glyn sob in unison somewhere in the background.
I don’t look at them. I can’t.
So I focus on Landon’s rage. Landon’s rage speaks to mine.
“I’m not lowering my fucking voice.” He shakes with the way he’s winding his muscles, a vein nearly popping in his neck. “That’s my twin brother. My other half. You don’t get it, Dad. He…he’s my. Other. Half. And I couldn’t be there to stop him from trying to take his own fucking life. I couldn’t be there when it got to be too much. He pushed me away and I thought he hated me. All this time, I failed to realize he hates himself.”
My injured fist tightens until I feel the burn of my wounds and keep my fingers there.
Levi clutches Landon by the shoulders. “If anyone should be blamed, it’s me. I failed him as a father. It’s not your fault, Lan. You wouldn’t have known.”
“Of course I would. I’m his twin brother. What’s the use of being labeled a genius if I couldn’t save the one person who matters?”
“None of you would’ve known.” I speak in a voice that sounds far away even to my ears. “He made it his mission to hide behind a façade and pretend he was okay. If—when—he wakes up, you will not play this blaming game in front of him. It’ll only make him feel guilty and uncomfortable. He’s already had a lifetime of that, so you better get your fucking shit together when you see him.”
Levi lets his hands fall limp at his sides, a pained expression crossing his distraught features.
Landon flashes me with his psychotic glare, then jams a finger against my chest. “Why the fuck didn’t you stop him? You were there. Why couldn’t you fucking stop him, you useless waste of bloody space!”
“Landon!” Levi pulls him away from me. “Nikolai is the reason he’s still breathing. Your brother could’ve done it where no one was looking and it would’ve been too late by the time anyone found him—”
“You’re right, I couldn’t. I didn’t see it coming.” My voice chokes. “But I don’t give a fuck about you or your opinions, Landon. The only one who can be mad at me is him. Not you or anyone else.”
He snarls at me, but his father manages to push him back.
No matter how much I hate the prick, he’s right. If I hadn’t let him snatch that piece of glass, if I hadn’t broken that glass, if I hadn’t hit Play on that fucking video, none of this would’ve happened.
But it did.
And here I am standing at Death’s door, begging him not to take away my Bran.
He believes himself to be all messed up, but he’s the only one who’s managed to keep me rooted in the present, the one who manages to stop my thoughts from racing in different directions with unnatural patterns.
As long as he comes back, I’ll murder his demons one by one until he’s ready to look in the mirror again.
Until he forgives himself for something that was not his fault.
A middle-aged doctor with Southeast Asian features steps outside and removes his cap, his face drawn and his movements sluggish.
My heart nearly drops to the floor. Please tell me that’s only because he’s exhausted—
“Doctor…” Levi’s voice sounds strained. “How’s…my son?”
“We managed to repair the nerves and the veins. He nicked his carotid artery, but, thankfully, the first aid response was fast enough and he got here in time. He was also lucky that no damage was inflicted on his vocal cords.” He smiles a little. “He’s stable now, but we’ll keep an eye on him in the ICU tonight.”
“Oh, thank you. Thank you…” Astrid pants through her tears and I realize she and Glyn have come to stand beside us.
He says something about the psychiatric department getting in touch, but I’m not listening.
My heart thunders back to life, rising from the ashes in one sweeping motion. I have to close my eyes as a long whoosh of breath escapes me.
He’s alive.
I asked—begged—him not to leave me and he listened.
He didn’t leave me.
Fucking fuck.
Fuck!
I let the searing emotions blast through me, whirling into the organ that beats for him. Everyone around me breathes for the first time, with shaky exhales while prayers of thanks are murmured, but I know even they realize this is not the end.
It’s the fucking beginning.
And I’m going to take the first step.
Every part of me urges me to stay and see him, hold his hand, and tell him I’ll never leave, not even if he pushes me away.
But before I can do that, I need to slaughter his first demon.
I walk away from the scene without a word and dial the number I called after we got here.
He picks up after two rings. “Is he okay?”