Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
The thought sent a jolt of disappointment through me. I should be done with Kellan, but I wasn’t ready for this to be over. That truth worried me and excited me in equal measures. I was always ready for something to be over, and realizing I didn’t feel that way with Kell settled right in my bones. It felt natural. Thinking about having those feelings for someone had never felt that way before.
Thinking he likely hooked up with someone, though…that was white-hot, searing pain in my veins. Jealousy and possessiveness, this relentless and foreign feeling inside me, even though he had every right to do that. Kellan wasn’t mine. We’d made no commitments to each other.
His car was out front when I pulled up. I knocked, and it only took him a moment to answer.
“I should have known you would come over.” He walked away, leaving the door open.
O-kay.
“Well, you’ve been ignoring my calls all day, so I thought I’d make sure you were still alive.” I closed the door behind me and looked over in time to see him roll his eyes. It was such a Kellan thing to do that I snickered. He acted like a big kid sometimes and always had.
“Of course you had to make sure I’m okay. I mean, I went to a club! Think of all the things that could have happened to me! What would I have done if you hadn’t come over today to make sure I was okay?”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “You’re acting like a child, Kell.”
“Screw you, Chase.”
He tried to shove his way around me, but I grabbed his arm. Not tightly, just to try and stop him, but Kellan winced, making me let go. Christ, he didn’t even want me to touch him anymore? That left a cold ache deep in my chest, one that I wanted gone immediately.
“It’s okay if you hooked up with someone last night. Is that what this is about? We said we were only friends with benefits, so I’m not going to fault you for having some fun.” The words were bitter on my tongue. I wanted them back, because the idea of Kellan being with anyone else made me nauseous. I wanted him with me and only me, and holy fuck, what was I thinking? It was all too much hitting me at once—wanting him that much, the possessiveness I felt.
The way he grimaced made it clear I’d said the wrong thing. “Why is it okay, Chase? Because you don’t give a shit about me? Because you won’t ever see me that way? I’m just a warm hole to you right now? Fuck you!” He poked his finger into my chest. “Are you feeling guilty because you hooked up with Becca last night, so you want to make sure I got some too? I could have fucked Josh, you know? At least if I was going to fuck someone, I made sure it was someone who wasn’t in Havenwood!”
A low growl started in my gut. The thought of Kellan with Josh made me want to tear the whole world apart. I could maybe deal with a random guy in Richmond I’d never see again, but thinking about his best friend with him made me… Well, shit. It hurt. “Don’t fuck Josh,” I said with a little more vulnerability than I’d have wanted. “And I don’t even know what in the hell you’re talking about. I didn’t sleep with Becca. I told her I couldn’t, that I was seeing someone else, which makes me fucking crazy, I guess. I know what we are, and I knew you were likely with Josh or someone else last night, but I—”
“You told Becca no?” Kellan asked softly, cutting me off.
The air in the room changed with that. It wasn’t heavy and thick anymore, though I couldn’t say exactly what it felt like. “Yes.”
“You told her you were seeing someone else?” he confirmed, and he looked so…almost sad. Like he wasn’t sure what it meant, and the truth was, I didn’t fully know either.
“Yeah.” I ran a hand through my hair and began pacing the living room, then stopped to look at him and shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing I could do, really, other than share the truth. This was Kellan, and I couldn’t lie or hold things back from him. “I can’t seem to get you outta my damn head, Kell. I don’t want anyone else but you.”
“I don’t want anyone else but you either. Josh was giving me shit to hook up, and my brain kept telling me he was right, but I just…couldn’t do it.”
My whole body relaxed in that moment. I hadn’t even realized how tight I was, how on edge, but knowing that Kellan hadn’t been with anyone else, knowing he only wanted me, was a balm to my soul I hadn’t known I needed. Like all these things that had been mismatched and lost before clicked into place.