Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 128742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 644(@200wpm)___ 515(@250wpm)___ 429(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 644(@200wpm)___ 515(@250wpm)___ 429(@300wpm)
I consider proposing he stand in the hallway making hand gestures, but his preoccupied expression says he wouldn’t see the humor in it.
“What’s up?” I prompt.
I slide out of bed and get up, because it feels weird lying under the covers while he remains upright. Like I’m a queen receiving her audience or something.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Jack starts, his voice gruff.
“Oh. Okay.” Most of my irritation with him evaporates with that simple admission.
“For kissing you. That was stupid. I was drunk, but I can’t blame it entirely on that. I don’t know what went through my head before I did it.” He pauses, then curses under his breath. “That’s a lie. I know what I was thinking.”
Just like that, my throat becomes arid. “What were you thinking?”
“You know what.”
The air shifts, thickens with tension.
My teeth dig into my lip as I lift my gaze to his. “Do I?”
“There’s something here.” He gestures between us. “Been there for a while, no?”
Since the day I moved in, I almost say.
Instead, I remain silent. It’s rare to get Jack talking. About anything substantive anyway. I’m afraid that if I speak, he’ll stop, and I desperately want to hear what he has to say.
“I think you’re bloody amazing.” His gaze never leaves mine. “Smart. Gorgeous. You make me laugh.” He licks his bottom lip. “Turn me on.”
I can scarcely breathe now. “I turn you on?”
“Yes. Christ. There’s nothing I want more right now than to throw you on that bed and smash your back out.”
I blink. “I’m sorry, what? You want to—ohhhh.” As usual, my cheeks burst into flames. “I take it that’s more of that Aussie slang?”
His lips twitch with a slight grin. “I keep forgetting you don’t get half the shit I’m saying. I’ll say it clearer.” His eyes become molten. “I want to fuck you.”
My core clenches.
Do it, I want to beg.
“I want to be on my knees with my face between your legs.”
Oh.
My.
God.
“I want to feel you squeezing my cock while I come inside you.”
Yup. I’m dead. He’s killed me and my vagina.
“All those things sound…nice,” I manage to croak out, my voice shaky and lust drenched.
Jack’s face clouds with regret. “But I can’t. We can’t.”
The disappointment is so visceral and all-consuming I feel my entire body deflate.
“You’re my flatmate. But more than that, I like to think we’ve become friends, ay?”
“Ay. I mean, yeah. Yes.”
This is incredible. I had no idea it was possible to go from ferally turned on to horrifically mortified this fast. I drop my gaze to my socked feet, afraid he’ll see my hurt and frustration.
“Abbs. No. Don’t do that.” He steps closer, touching my chin to tip it upward. “Look at me. I’m trying to do the right thing. We’ve a good arrangement here. Can’t have this exploding in our faces, yeah? Lee and Jamie adore you. They’d kill me if I fucked this up for everyone.”
“Who says you would?”
“I don’t do relationships,” he admits. “And you”—he blows out a breath— “you don’t do one-night stands.”
“Says who?” I counter, because I hate it when people tell me who I am.
He slants his head in challenge. “Do you?”
Goddamn it.
“No,” I mutter. “I don’t.” I straighten my shoulders and muster a dismissive look that takes some effort. “Okay. I guess that’s settled.”
Jack shifts uneasily. “We can pretend it never happened then?”
“I’ve already forgotten about it.”
“All right.” He hesitates. “Good night.”
Without another word, he leaves and closes the door behind him.
Yeah, I don’t think I’m taking Jack to any royal shindig.
As if smelling blood in the water, Lee invites himself into my room and sprawls across the foot of my bed like he’s posing for a boudoir photo session.
“What did Jackie want?” he demands suspiciously.
“Nothing, really. We were talking about midterms,” I lie. “He might need some study help.”
“Well, that’s boring.” Lee props up on his elbow and plants his head in his palm. “You didn’t say earlier—how was lunch with Lord Tulley? Give me details. Don’t spare anything.”
“Can we do this tomorrow?” I ask with a yawn. I’m mentally exhausted.
He furrows his brow, sitting up. “You all right?”
“I’ve got a headache coming on.”
“Say no more.” Lee jumps up. “I’ll bring you a cuppa and leave you be.”
He’s almost out the door when I call his name. He turns at the threshold.
I swallow a smile. “Better get your tux pressed.”
He makes an ear-piercing noise like a chew toy exploding and dashes off.
I’m not stoked about breaking the news to Celeste, but I’m fairly sure she was only joking about leaving me for dead in an alley. Truth is, Lee’s been a good friend since the night I arrived jet-lagged and confused at his doorstep. Seems only right I return the favor.
NOVEMBER
22
THERE’S A SMALL COHORT OF US WHO TEND TO OCCUPY THE SPECIAL archives section at the library. My first few days among their ranks, I received more than a few curious glances and suspicious glowers. Now on the back end of the semester, they’ve accepted me as one of their own. We nod at one another as we comb the stacks. Recognize the official dibs status of one another’s desks and preferred reading nooks. It’s a silly thing, yet coming in after class knowing I won’t have to fight for a seat is a small reassurance that despite the chaos popping off at home, the library is still a safe and sacred retreat.