Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
“Talia, this is Magda,” Alexei tells me. “She keeps the house in order.”
I frown and move my attention back to him. Because he said my name. And I never told him my name. I’m confused and my head hurts, so I rub my temples. I haven’t had a pill in a long time, I realize. Not even half of a pill. And everything hurts.
I need at least half a pill, to keep the numbness. And the rest I can save. I wonder how many Alexei will give me, now that he knows my secret. It worries me, but I don’t have time to consider it.
Magda steps in front of me, giving me a small sympathetic smile. “Hello, Talia,” she greets me in English, though her accent is very much Russian.
I stare blankly at her.
Alexei clips out a few short sentences in Russian and then moves towards the door. But before he goes, he stops, his gaze drifting back to me.
“Remove anything sharp from the wash room,” he tells Magda. “And no baths either.”
Magda frowns at me, but nods. And then Alexei leaves. I’m still staring at the door when Magda takes me by my hand and leads me to the walk in closet.
“There are clothes in here,” she says. “So you can choose what you like, until…”
I don’t hear the rest of her words. I stare at the clothes but don’t touch them. There’s too many. Too many colors. That claustrophobic feeling is back, so I move away from them, bumping into the wall.
“Miss Talia?” Magda asks, concern evident in her voice. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”
I shake my head.
“Very well.” She nods. “Mr. Nikolaev wants you to get cleaned up. There is a shower you can use, and I’ll be right outside if you need some assistance.”
She leads me towards the door of the adjoining bathroom, but I halt before I step inside.
“Miss Talia?”
I can’t look at her when I speak. I can’t allow her to see that the numbness is slipping away again.
“Is there a mirror?” I ask.
“Yes, of course,” she answers. “I will show you.”
“I don’t want to see.”
The room is quiet. She’s considering my words. And then she slips away, returning a few moments later.
“There,” she says. “I have covered it over. No more mirror.”
This time, I let her lead me inside. The bathroom is large, and like everything else, overwhelming. But when my eyes move to the bathtub, there’s a sense of familiarity and longing. The same lyrics begin to play through my mind. My mother’s voice. Angels in the morning. Four angels. And me, too.
Soon…
“No baths,” Magda destroys my reality with two simple words.
She urges me towards the shower and turns it on for me. And then I watch her remove the razors and anything else I might hurt myself with.
“Once you have washed, I will tend to your wounds,” Magda states.
And with that, she takes a seat in the chair across the bathroom where she can reach me quickly if she needs to. It only confirms that thought echoing through my head.
This man is never going to let me go.
6
Talia
I take my time in the shower, letting my sore muscles soak up the warmth. I cannot remember the last time I felt hot water on my skin. When Karolina bathed me, she spared me no luxuries.
There are a lot of toiletries in this shower. The choices overwhelm me, and pressure builds behind my eyes. The numbness is slipping away from me, and pain is taking a greedy hold of my body and mind. I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this.
I just want to be free. Like them. Like my family.
But he won’t let me.
I reach for a bottle without checking the label and use it on every part of my body. I keep squirting the flowery scented gel into my hands and washing, over and over, but I never get clean. When I blink my eyes open, my skin is raw and I’m shivering.
“That’ll do,” Magda tells me, appearing outside the door with a towel. “You’ve scrubbed too hard.”
When I step outside, my knees nearly buckle. Magda grabs me by the arm and helps me to the chair across the room. She wraps the fluffy towel around me, but it doesn’t help. I’m still shivering. It’s getting worse.
“Miss Talia, are you alright?”
“I n-n-need a pill.” My teeth clack together.
She shakes her head and frowns. “No pills. It will pass.”
“It won’t,” I argue.
She ignores me and gathers a few items from the cabinet before she makes her way back to me. She starts to dab at my wounds. Her touch is gentle, but it feels like fire on my skin. I cry out everywhere she touches, and the pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
“It hurts,” I tell her. “It hurts so much.”