Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
And we really were.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sawyer
I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been such a fool. I’m done with Julian. I’m never allowing myself to get hurt again.
~ Sawyer’s Journal, 21 years old.
It had been a couple of weeks since Carter and I made it official. I still couldn’t believe it when I thought about it. Carter was my boyfriend. It just…didn’t make sense on some levels. We were so different, and I’d hated him when I first met him, though admittedly, I’d been unfair. But then, in other ways, it felt like we made all the sense in the world. We fit together in ways I never would have imagined. Even when it came to our differences, we seemed to complement each other.
He made me loosen up. Made me feel confident and desired and showed me it was okay to call someone my fucktoy, to want to do all kinds of dirty things to them, but to still care about them and treat them with respect.
That was another thing I’d been quietly judgmental about in my life. I had never let myself see possibilities, had never looked inside myself and really set myself free. Somehow, Carter had done that for me. I was learning about different sides of myself that I might have snubbed my nose at with others, and saw that there was nothing wrong with them.
With Carter, I never felt less than the way I had with Julian. I didn’t feel like I had to fake it or try to be someone I wasn’t. It was okay that I was figuring it out, figuring myself out as we went along.
I wasn’t that guy who couldn’t fulfill his lover. I wasn’t told it was my fault he would have to look somewhere else. Carter desired me, and that desire gave me the confidence to let go, and follow it wherever it led me.
He’d had a couple of small trips off and on the past weeks, only a few days here and there. It was hard when he was gone. I couldn’t deny that. My insecurities wouldn’t magically go away. I thought about all the things he could be doing when he was traveling and all the things he would have wanted to do before me. Then I’d worry I wasn’t enough and he deserved more, but I worked hard to shut those thoughts down. And I trusted Carter.
When he was home, we were together, either at Fearless or at my apartment. We hadn’t been around our friends since we made things official. As far as I knew, Carter hadn’t told anyone about us, not that I would mind if he did. I’d told Cam, of course, but I knew he kept it between us.
But today we were heading out for a camping trip with the whole group—three days and two nights at a place near Lake Allatoona, about half an hour from Fever Falls—on what Lincoln called The Big Gay Camping Trip Plus Jude, so we wouldn’t be a secret much longer.
Carter and I would be riding with Camden. My brother’s text came through a minute later, and I grabbed my bags and our tent, locked up, and made my way downstairs to meet him. This would be the second time this year that I’d gone away for a few days, which was something I never did, but I felt confident with my assistant manager running things. That didn’t mean I wasn’t freaking out—Fearless was my baby, after all—but Carter and Cam had both been instrumental in getting me to calm down and have fun.
I tossed my stuff in the back of Cam’s truck and jumped into the passenger seat. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Hey, Baby Burke. You ready for your official reveal with Carter this weekend?”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re a dork.”
“I know you are, but what am I?”
“What you say is what you are,” I countered.
“Amazing, gorgeous, a great fuck.”
“Gross,” I replied, and we laughed.
It was a short drive to Carter’s, and I texted him on the way to let him know we were coming. When we got to his apartment, he was waiting on the sidewalk with—
“Holy shit. How many bags does he need?” Cam asked.
“Linc will have more.”
“Yeah, but Linc is Linc.”
“And Carter is Carter,” I replied, and realized I was smiling. I really fucking liked who Carter was.
I jumped out of the truck, pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and helped him toss all his things into the truck bed. “You can sit up front with Cam.”
“Such a gentleman,” he teased as I got into the cab and he sat in the passenger seat.
Once the door was closed and we were on our way, Camden asked, “What are your intentions with my brother?”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I rubbed a hand over my face. “You’re an idiot.” Looking at Carter, I added, “He’s giving you shit.”