Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Chapter 40
FREYA
MY PLAN WASN’T ideal by any standard. However, packing up my apartment and moving my stuff back to my parents’ house, which was constantly buzzing with activity, was a surefire way to make a week fly by with as little time to think about things as possible. My entire life revolved around Dynasty Games, and I could see that despite the looks my parents and Beatrix gave one another when they thought I wasn’t looking, my work was paying off.
We had sat down together, played Dad’s old games, and talked about how we could update the various concepts – chance, strategy, building, exploration – to make them work as on-screen games. They were mostly educational, which gave us a whole new direction to go in. Beatrix had researched the market for kids’ educational games, and we had come up with three solid ideas to get us started. We usually worked on one new development at a time, but Beatrix argued that we needed to hit the market hard with a new approach. I worked on the graphics late into the night, and Drew gave up his free time willingly to help. The business was still flailing, but at least we didn’t feel so helpless any longer.
We spent all day every day working, and then in the bright evenings we would all be together in the garden, sometimes thrashing out problems we had encountered and other times sitting in tired silence. It was in the garden that Mom had sat down with me to talk about Beatrix.
“I’m worried about her,” she said. “She looks tired.”
“We are all tired,” I said. “But I will talk to her, make sure she is okay.”
And so I had, but Beatrix insisted she was fine, she said that things with her and Stan were better than ever, and even though she was busier, she was actually less stressed now that we had a plan. I felt the same. It was only at night, lying in my old bedroom with the faded paint outlining where my old posters had once been, that I allowed myself to think and feel. I couldn’t help wondering where Keegan was, what was happening. For all I knew, he could have been arrested by now. I spent hours lying in the dark trying to weigh up the evidence. Everything suggested that he had been involved. It was what the lawyers thought, it was what my family thought, and according to Taylor, it was what everyone at Clover House thought.
One by one, each department had had a meeting with Sean and someone from Human Resources. He had reassured them that everything was under control, and that some of the rumors going around were true. Keegan would no longer be at Clover House, and anyone who felt they wanted to discuss any of the issues raised was very welcome to do so. In short, he was throwing Keegan under the bus and making sure that anyone who felt like doing the same thing would have a willing ear.
“You know how it is in this industry,” Taylor had said. “People will swear black is white if they think it might get them one step ahead of the guy next to them.”
“And no one has seen Keegan?” I asked.
“Nope,” she said. “But Sean said that apparently he didn’t deny any of it. He isn’t going to come right out and say it, but he has literally no defense.”
She had tried to talk me into a night out, but there was just no way I was up for it. Even if I had time or money, I just didn’t feel like being social. Drew had asked me a few times if I felt like grabbing a drink after we had finished work, but there was always something holding me back. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea; neither of us needed the confusion. And I knew that the way I had been feeling was likely to lead to poor decision making.
I couldn’t explain it to anyone, even if I had wanted to, but since those few nights spent with Keegan, I felt different. About lots of things, but mostly about sex. Before him, I hadn’t thought of myself as a particularly sexual person. I wanted to have a connection with someone, and if sex came along with that, then that would be good, but it was never my primary motivation. It still wasn’t, but sleeping with Keegan had stirred something up inside me that I didn’t know was there. I felt somehow more aware of myself as a sexual being. More powerful. And I wanted more. Most of the time I hated the thought of Keegan, the deceptiveness of him, how he had just dismissed me like I was a piece of crap, but what I wouldn’t give to have one more night with him. Even when they talked about him at work, I felt myself become aroused. And then one night when Drew had been working late, I watched him stretch up to reach for a file from the bookcase, and the shape of him had made me wonder what it would have been like if we had ever actually made it to sex. I physically shook my head to dislodge the thought. What was wrong with me? That was the absolute last thing I wanted. And so, I avoided nights out with Taylor, and nights in with Drew, because I simply didn’t trust myself to make good choices right now.