Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 78049 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78049 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Still am, for that matter. His touch feels like comfort.
“What happened to your boyfriend?” Gage asks. “You said his name was Paul, and that he was a paramedic, but you never said anything else about him.”
All sorts of dark feelings well up inside me. I try to push them down… banish them, because I don’t want them tainting what’s between me and Gage.
“He… um… didn’t stick around after the fire,” I manage.
“He abandoned you,” Gage says, his voice heavy with disdain.
“Emory said he visited for the first few weeks, but I don’t remember. I was too heavily sedated. And the visits got shorter, then fewer, until he stopped coming.”
“All before they woke you up?” he asks in shock.
“I only saw him once after the fire.” I remember that awful day like it happened yesterday. “He came to the hospital to break up with me. I mean, he cried and begged forgiveness but just said he couldn’t handle any of it.”
“Couldn’t handle what?” Gage growls. “That you saved his daughter’s life? That you almost died?”
“He couldn’t handle the burns… the disfigurement.”
“He said that to you?” Gage asks, aghast.
“No,” I reply softly. “But he couldn’t look at me while he was talking. Not once could he look at me. Kept his gaze averted. So I knew what it was he couldn’t handle.”
Gage gathers me in closer, one hand still pressed to the scars on my back. “Fucking pussy.”
That makes me laugh. “He was definitely weak of character.”
“You’re much nicer than I am,” Gage growls, but then he asks tentatively, “What about his daughter?”
I swallow hard. “That was the worst out of all of it. Worse than Paul not being able to stomach looking at me, and even worse than the burns themselves. I lost Chelsea.”
“He wouldn’t let you see her?”
“Well, I didn’t want her to see me in the burn unit. It would’ve been too traumatic. But after I got out of rehab, I texted him. Asked if I could see her. He said no.”
“Why the fuck not?” Gage demands.
“He said she didn’t remember me and that it would be too hard on her to bring back all that nastiness. That’s what he called it… nastiness.”
“I swear to God, Jenna, as soon as this season is over, you and I are flying to California, and I’m going to beat his ass into the ground.”
“You’re sweet to offer,” I say, leaning in to press a kiss to his jaw. “But I’d rather you not go to jail just to avenge me.”
Gage is silent for a long moment, but then he says, “I’d never hurt you like that.”
While this man has proven over and over how genuine he is with his words and actions, I can’t know for sure that he won’t one day hurt me. The perilous downside to abandonment and rejection is that you tend to look for it around every corner.
Still, I say the words I think he expects to hear. “I know you wouldn’t.”
I’m not sure I really believe that, but I want to.
I want more than anything for Gage to be exactly what he appears to be, because unfortunately, my heart is completely lost to him, and I don’t want it broken again.
CHAPTER 18
Gage
It’s game day, and it’s by far the most important game for this new team. A win today over the Brooklyn Wolves secures our playoff spot—a feat no one in the hockey world would’ve thought possible two months ago when the plane went down. After all, that should’ve been the end of the season.
While this new team has scraped and clawed for every point, none of it would’ve been possible without Brienne Norcross’s belief in this organization. She pulled off what might be considered one of the greatest Cinderella stories of all time, and that will be true even if we lose tonight. The new Titans have nothing to be ashamed of this season.
The arena is bustling, even though the game is still four hours away. Most of us have been here for a few hours already. Home game days are about a lot of things. There’s the usual preparation, including mental prep for the task at hand, and every player has his own ritual he goes through. It could involve a light workout, stretching, or functional therapy. It almost always involves nutrition, and appropriate foods are always on hand in the team lounge throughout the day.
For some players, it’s about hanging out and bonding.
Some like being alone with music.
For me, it’s all of that. Just being at the arena, among the hustle of pregame prep, puts me in the right frame of mind. I make my rounds, talking to teammates. I eat what I’m supposed to eat. I’ll hit a warm-up bike or sometimes take a lazy skate as the custodial team readies the arena. Often I’ll hang out in the lounge, watching TV or engaging in a game of Mario Kart with teammates. Sometimes, I’ll read a book or flip through a magazine.