Total pages in book: 200
Estimated words: 189930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 950(@200wpm)___ 760(@250wpm)___ 633(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 189930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 950(@200wpm)___ 760(@250wpm)___ 633(@300wpm)
“Why? I think it’s pretty obvious, Hawke. I’m sitting in your lap. I doubt that’s how you normally hold innocent conversations with people.”
“Very rarely is anything I do innocent, Princess.”
“Shocker,” I muttered.
“So, you’re suggesting I led you out here, instead of toward a private room with a bed”—he dragged the tips of his fingers down my right arm—“to engage in a particular type of inappropriate behavior?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, though my room would’ve been a better option.” My heart had already started pounding the moment my rear ended up in his lap. Now, it felt as if it were going to explode out of my chest.
“What if I said that isn’t true?”
“I…” My stomach fluttered as his fingers found their way to my hip. “I wouldn’t believe you.”
“Then what if I said it didn’t start off that way?” His thumb moved against my hip. “But then there was the moonlight and you, with your hair down, in this dress, and then the idea occurred to me that this would be the perfect location for some wildly inappropriate behavior.”
“Then I…I would say that’s more likely.”
His hand glided over the thin, gauzy material of the gown. “So, there you have it.”
“At least, you’re honest.” I bit down on my lip as the fluttering deepened. This was dangerous. Even if no one discovered us, it felt like tempting fate with the gods. A few stolen kisses—all right, a little more than a few stolen kisses—was possibly forgivable. But this?
Even those stolen kisses weren’t forgivable, at least according to the Duke and Duchess—and the Queen. Then again, if the gods were to intervene, wouldn’t they have done so already? I thought about what Tawny had once said about not being sure whether the rules imposed upon me were a decree from the gods.
And if I had interpreted what the Duchess had said about the first Maiden correctly, she’d done a lot of forbidden things.
She hadn’t been found unworthy.
“Tell you what. I’ll make you a deal.”
“A deal?”
“If I do anything you don’t like…” Hawke’s hand slid down my thigh, causing my breath to catch. Through the dress, his hand closed over the dagger. “I give you permission to stab me.”
“That would be excessive.”
“I was hoping you’d give me just a measly flesh wound,” he added. “But it’d be worth finding out.”
I grinned. “You are such a bad influence.”
“I think we’ve already established that only the bad can be influenced.”
“And I think I already told you that your logic is faulty,” I repeated, closing my eyes as his fingers followed the outline of the sheathed blade.
Another hot, tight shiver curled its way down my spine, and I had the sudden urge to squeeze my legs together. Somehow, I refrained.
I resisted him, despite knowing how I would’ve let him kiss me the night before.
“I’m the Maiden, Hawke,” I reminded him—or myself, I wasn’t sure.
“And I don’t care.”
My eyes flew open in shock. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“I did. And I’ll say it again. I don’t care what you are.” Hawke’s hand slid off my back. A moment later, I felt his palm flatten against my cheek with unerring accuracy. “I care about who you are.”
Oh.
Oh, gods.
My chest swelled so fast and full, it was a small miracle that I didn’t float right out of his lap and into the willow. What he’d said…
It had to be the sweetest and most perfect thing anyone could say.
“Why?” I demanded, almost wishing he hadn’t spoken those words. “Why would you say that?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Yes, I am. It doesn’t make sense.”
“You don’t make sense.”
I hit his shoulder—or chest. Some extremely hard part of him.
Hawke grunted. “Ouch.”
I so did not hit him hard enough for that. “You’re fine.”
“I’m bruised.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I retorted. “And it’s you who makes no sense.”
“I’m the one sitting here being honest. You’re the one hitting me. How do I not make sense?”
“Because this whole thing makes no sense.” Frustration rose swiftly through me, and I started to stand, but the hand on my hip stopped me. Or I let it stop me. I wasn’t sure. And that was even more irritating. “You could be spending time with anyone, Hawke—any number of people you wouldn’t have to hide in a willow tree to be with.”
“And yet, I’m here with you. And before you even begin to think it’s because of my duty to you, it’s not. I could’ve just walked you back to your room and stayed out in the hall.”
“That’s my point. It makes no sense. You can have a slew of willing participants in…whatever this is. It would be easy,” I said. Pretty Britta came to mind. I was sure he’d had her. “You can’t have me. I’m…I’m un-have-able.”
“I’m confident that’s not even a word.”
“That’s not the point. I’m not allowed to do this. Any of this. I shouldn’t have done what I did at the Red Pearl,” I continued. “It doesn’t matter if I want—”