Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 100275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 501(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
She hiccups and sniffles again. “My mom—my aunt—lied to protect me.” She wipes her face, but her eyes are far from dry. “She changed her name. She changed my name. And she did it all for me.” Wringing her hands in front of her, she stares at the floor between us. “And I . . . ,” she whispers. “I’m trying to figure out what kind of cruel god would let me move here, of all the places in the world. And of all the men in the world, I meet you.”
Her face scrunches. “And fall in love with you. Then, out of all the jobs I could have taken, I ended up at the hospital where my father’s a patient.” She laughs with a painful grunt. “But not just anyone’s patient. My patient.”
Not since the day I found out my parents and sister died have I felt this numb.
This speechless.
This confused.
This angry at the world.
“Say something,” she whispers, lifting her gaze to mine.
I have no idea what she expects me to say. Was there a question in that mind fuck of a confession? But she’s waiting for my response, bleeding desperation. So I respond without thinking. I say the only thing that I feel right now.
“I hate that he’s still alive. I hope he dies an awful death. I hope he tries to kill himself a hundred times and fails each time with maximum suffering until his miserable fucking soul leaves his body to burn in hell for eternity.”
Jamie swallows hard, releasing a new round of tears, lips quivering until she hides them behind her shaky hand as if I’ve offended her. I don’t think there’s anything more offensive than murder. Surely she has to see that.
Something in her eyes dies, as if a part of her has left her body, leaving a vacant hole. And she pivots, taking even, unhurried steps to the stairway. Seconds later, she descends the stairs with her suitcase in hand, dons her jacket and boots, and opens the door.
I open my mouth to stop her, but nothing comes out.
Click.
I stare at the door and the space she’s left on this side of it. The space she’s left in my heart.
Chapter Forty-Three
Another white lie.
Another holiday filled with forced smiles and small talk.
Grandma accepts my excuse for Jamie’s sudden absence—that they were short staffed at the hospital due to several nurses being sick. And I fly with her back to San Bernardino on Saturday, then return home on Sunday.
“Where have you been?” Maren asks when I enter the house with my overnight bag. “And why didn’t you send pictures? I’ve messaged Jamie a hundred times to see if she’ll spill the beans or send me a photo of her diamond ring. But she’s not responding.” Maren stands from the sofa, stretching. “Spill, Fitz. I want all the details.”
I head up the stairs. “There’s nothing to share.”
I barely reach my bedroom threshold before she’s on my tail. “What happened? Did she say no?” she asks with incredulity.
Tossing my bag on the bed, I then unzip it and remove my dirty clothes. “I didn’t propose.”
“Why not?”
“Maren.” I pause my hands and close my eyes. “Can we not discuss it now?”
“Fine. I’ll call Jamie until she answers.” She pivots and exits my room.
“Stop,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. I don’t face her, but I can hear her feet padding back in my direction. “She recently discovered that her mom lied to her. Her mom wasn’t her mom. She was her aunt. Her biological mom died in conjunction with the fire that killed my parents.”
“Oh my god. That’s awful.”
“No.” I turn. “The awful part is that her father started the fire.”
Maren’s jaw slowly unhinges. “How . . . what . . . wh—”
“Don’t. Just don’t ask me anything else. I don’t know anything else. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.”
“Poor Jamie,” Maren murmurs.
“What?” I flinch. “Poor Jamie? Are you fucking kidding me?”
Maren jumps. “Fitz, I . . . I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that your family’s death is not her fault. I’m not trying to downplay the seriousness of what happened to your family. The whole thing was a tragedy for so many people. But she was just a child when it happened. She lost her biological mom. She lost the woman who raised her. She lost the man she thought was her father. And now she’s dealing with the revelation that everything was a lie, and her birth father is responsible for so many lost lives? I’m sorry, but that is horrific.”
“So what? Am I supposed to overlook everything? Get down on one knee and ask her to be my wife, so for the rest of my life, I have an in-person reminder of the man who murdered my family?”
Maren takes several steps and wraps her arms around my waist, resting her cheek against my chest. “I’m sorry, Fitz. No. I don’t mean that at all. I shouldn’t have said that. It was terrible timing. Jamie’s not here. You are. My reaction was insensitive. I know you must be hurting.” She releases me, retreating several steps toward the door. “I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I know you love her. And I understand if that’s not enough.”