Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Their lady love? All four of them? Apparently, that’s the case, and wow, does Jade seem happy about it. Who could blame her? The men are all good looking, though not quite as handsome as the men I’ve been hanging out with.
Jade seems to be in a relationship with her men, and I’m just hanging out with some guys. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to call Trevor, Adrian, Garrett, and Duke mine? The thought distracts me for a moment, and I’m a beat late in meeting the hand that Jade’s holding out to shake mine.
“Sorry,” I say, “Nerves.” And envy, apparently. My situation is a million miles from a committed relationship.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Jade says.
“You too.”
“Brittany should be coming too,” Duke says to both Jade and me.
Rusty’s owner, his brother, and Caz join the conversation, and I find out that Duke knows them from security work he did for them in the past. I can only half focus on the conversation, though, because I’m preoccupied by the fact that eight o’clock is approaching, and distracted by my new fantasies about an unrealistic relationship with four men.
Barrett Stone wishes me luck, and the crowd of bar and club owners go to take a seat, leaving me with Duke, Trevor, Garrett, Adrian, and all of my nerves.
“I hope you don’t mind that I told people at Club Red about your show,” Duke says. “They’re excited to see a performance that doesn’t include naked men dancing around for a change.” He makes a face at Trevor and Adrian, driving his point home.
“It was nice of you to spread the word,” I tell him. “You too, Garrett.”
When Trevor sees me checking my watch, he says, “We’d better let you get started. The nerves will pass. I was sweating before my first show, but once I got on stage and got into the music, everything was fine.”
“Thanks.” I give him a smile. “That’s helpful.”
“What did you do, Trevor? Picture everyone in the audience naked?” Duke chuckles at his own joke before giving me a quick hug and wishing me luck.
Garrett and Adrian offer encouraging words, too, and then I’m alone, with nothing left to do but get started.
34
Autumn
I’m grateful for this amazing opportunity, and I’m ready to share the music I love with other people. A reminder of my motivations helps me to fight the impulse to run out of Rusty’s and never come back.
Once I get settled and ready to go, I strum a few notes and then introduce myself to the crowd, making sure that they can all hear me okay. As soon as words leave my mouth, I’d be hard pressed to recall what I just said. Maybe this is what an out-of-body experience is like.
I refer to my set list and begin my first song, internally breathing a sigh of relief when I go into autopilot mode and find myself playing the chords and singing the words. It doesn’t feel like I’m the one actually doing it, but soon the song is over and there’s a fair amount of applause, though I get the impression people are just being polite.
Plenty of people go on talking and drinking as I play. I’m not here to command attention, after all; I’m meant to provide ambience, and the thought of that helps me relax to a small degree.
Then I remember Duke’s joke about Trevor, and decide to picture the four men — who are at a table together not far from the stage watching me closely — naked, and I relax even more. Not quite the way that mind trick is designed to go, but it works anyway.
My second song gets an even better reception than the first, and after that, the out-of-body feeling goes away, and I actually start to enjoy what I’m doing. It’s exhilarating when the crowd responds. People are tapping their feet, swaying in their seats, and one couple even gets up to dance!
I’m surprisingly comfortable with the new guitar after such a short time, which feels like a metaphor for how comfortable I am with Trevor, Adrian, and Duke, even though I’ve barely just met them. Things with Garrett are suddenly new and different, too, and I’m ready to embrace the changes, even though I know more changes are on the way that make today’s joy a fleeting experience.
As I continue to play, my nerves finally give way to a nearly-mellow ease. I look toward the men’s table, ready to give them smiles, but my voice catches when I spot two women talking to them — Kelly and Lindsey. My former roommates are not sitting, but standing, and so is Duke, who’s the one doing the talking. Afraid of getting thrown off course, I avert my eyes and focus on finishing the song I’m playing. Before I start the next one, I risk a look back at the table. Now, it’s just Adrian and Trevor sitting there, no sight of the others. Trevor shoots me a thumbs-up accompanied by a huge smile, and I manage a meager grin in return.