Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
The big man almost cracks an actual smile, but then regains his stern composure. “Would you like me to escort you to their dressing room? The guys are getting ready for the show.”
Aside from seeing me with the brothers the night I was here, he must know that I’m somehow involved with them if he’s inviting me to go backstage. I wonder what they’ve said about me. Or maybe they just told him to expect me tonight. “Um … no, thanks. I’ll just watch the show from out front.”
Duke gives me a single nod. “That’s Brittany at the ticket counter. Tell her who you are and go on through.”
Inside the lobby, when I do as instructed, Brittany, a woman probably around thirty in a leopard-print shirt, looks at me appraisingly, a knowing smile on her lips. “Nice to meet you, Jade.”
I offer my credit card, but she shakes her head, her loose red curls bobbing on her shoulders. “Chase would kill me if I let you pay admission. Go on in. Enjoy.”
As I walk down the hall that leads to the showroom, a cluster of women come up behind me, talking in loud voices. “What I wouldn’t pay to see Dodge and Diesel take it all off,” one voice says.
“Oh my god, yes. I’d give up a kidney to see what they’re packing,” another squeals.
“For a kidney, I’d want to do a lot more than look,” the first one says, and they all break into harsh laughter that makes me feel queasy.
With the modest upbringing that I had, it’s jarring to hear strangers talking about the private body parts of men I’m sleeping with, but of course, that’s what these shows are all about.
I force myself to ignore the rest of their conversation and move away from the group as soon as we’re in the larger room. It’s already nearly full, and I try not to let myself think about the fact that so many strangers are here to see my men.
My men. I still have no right to call them that, yet my possessive thoughts persist.
They might want to be my men, but I don’t think they want to be my dirty little secret. They deserve much better than that. Continuing to see them will mean being out in the open, telling my family, and accepting the consequence that honesty will bring.
A pre-show announcement comes over the speakers, and a wave of catcalls and whistles erupt from the impatient women surrounding me. I remind myself that there are a couple of other men in the show, so it’s not as if these women are only cheering for my men, but then their cheers turn into a chant: “Dodge and Diesel! Dodge and Diesel!” People are literally pounding on the tables and stomping their feet in rhythm with their shouts.
It’s impossible to ignore it as I squeeze through the crowd to get to the bar. Just water for me tonight. I’m not making that mistake again. Aside from that, my stomach feels incredibly uneasy as everyone around me cheers to see my men strip and dance and tease. They all want what I have with the men in private. Maybe I should feel flattered or lucky, but I can’t get my head in the right space.
When the dancers come out, the crowd is going to push toward the stage and try to touch them. Afterward, they’ll line up to take pictures with them, and then they will definitely touch them. These women will wrap their arms around Dodge and Diesel, Chase, and Maddox, and they’ll snuggle into their chests, rubbing their bodies against as much bare skin as they can.
I shake my head to try to disrupt the images that fill my mind. It’s just a job for the men, and none of that should matter to me if it doesn’t matter to them, but still …
The show starts, and it’s the best distraction from my intrusive thoughts. Chase comes out first again, but tonight he’s dressed like a cowboy instead of a cop. He must mix things up since they have so many repeat customers.
After some jokes about who can tame a cowboy, and suggestive hip thrusts when he talks about riding in a saddle all night long, other dancers come out, including Maddox and the twins, all of them in jeans, leather vests, cowboy boots, and big hats. By the time the act is over, they’re down to only their hats and flesh-colored thongs, and the cheering is deafening.
As the show progresses, I find myself mesmerized by the brothers’ beautiful bodies and all of the creative ways that they can move them. It’s even better than the first time I saw them, and maybe that’s because now I know what it’s like to touch them and taste them, and I can’t help but think about how those bodies have made me feel.