Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
“What is this, Luca?” I bit out impatiently. I covered one of Violet’s ears as I gently pressed her head to my chest. “Yesterday you practically begged me to let you help us and today you’re telling us to fuck off?”
“You’re better off with Vaughn and—”
“I didn’t put my trust in Vaughn,” I snapped. “I put it in you. Because that was what you asked!”
He didn’t respond. Hurt lanced through me. “You know what, forget it,” I said. I turned to go, but he suddenly grabbed my arm and gently pulled me back.
“Wait,” he murmured. “Just wait.”
Where his expression had been dull and lifeless before, his eyes were full of emotion now.
I shifted Violet in my arms because despite her smaller than average size, she was still heavy in my arms. Luca must have noticed because a second later he was steering me to the bed. “Here, sit,” he urged.
I sat down on the edge of the mattress and turned Violet so she could sit on my lap. But she extended her arms to Luca and said, “Ca.”
I wasn’t sure who was more surprised, Luca or me. But Violet wasn’t in any mood to be patient and so she called for Luca again. Luca actually looked at me questioningly. I nodded and picked Violet up so she was standing on my lap. Luca carefully took her. The way he expertly cradled her against his chest tugged at something deep in my chest. How many times had he held his son like that?
“What did you do to Aleks?” I asked as Luca dutifully admired the keychain Violet was showing him… his keychain.
Luca stilled and looked at me. I wasn’t one for beating around the bush, so I didn’t really feel bad about the bluntness of my question. And truth was, I really needed to know what he’d say that he’d done to my friend because it would be the driving factor behind my next decision.
The shame in Luca’s expression helped more than he probably realized.
Luca sat down on the bed next to me and shifted Violet until she was in a more comfortable position.
“I sent men to kidnap him,” Luca said quietly. His eyes were on the floor. “Six weeks ago. There was a man from his past who wanted Aleks for himself and I wanted to find that man because I thought he knew where Gio was. I wanted to use Aleks to lure the guy out of hiding.”
“The Stylianos guy, right?” I asked.
Luca looked at me in surprise. “You know?”
I nodded. “Aleks gave me the abbreviated version a few minutes ago. I just wanted to make sure you told me the same thing.”
Luca let out a long sigh. He studied Violet who was watching him with big eyes. “Vaughn said it wouldn’t change how I feel,” Luca said softly. “He was talking about you, but I think he was trying to prepare me for Gio too, you know?”
I considered his words along with his behavior over the past twenty-four hours. Actually, it’d been more than that, since he’d been following me for a week.
“Guilt,” I said quietly when it hit me all at once. “Your brother was trying to tell you the guilt wouldn’t go away.”
Luca nodded. “He’s right. He always is.”
There was a trace of amusement mixed in with the sadness in his voice. My own chest tightened in response. This man confounded me and I had so many mixed feelings about him, even more so since I’d woken up this morning practically lying on top of him with his mouth mere inches from mine. But all that aside, I wasn’t a vindictive person. I didn’t want to add to his suffering.
“Luca, I—”
“Don’t, Remy,” he murmured right before he turned his head so he could look at me. “I have to learn to live with what I did to you. There’s no forgiving it. Just like I have to learn to live with not being able to save my own child when he needed me most. I justified the things I did to you, to Aleks, by saying nothing was more important than bringing Gio home. There’s no undoing that. There’s only living with it.”
Luca gave Violet a quick kiss on the top of her head, then handed her over to me. “I’ll have Terrence help you with Violet’s stuff.”
I knew I should just let him go. Going with Aleks and Vaughn was the safer bet. But in my heart, I knew the safer bet wouldn’t make me feel safe. It was the same reason I hadn’t stayed with Ronan when he’d offered. Nerves rattled my insides as I grabbed Luca’s hand the second he stood. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“Do you want us to go?” I asked. It was a cowardly move, putting the question on him so I could use his response as an excuse, but I didn’t care. I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on at the moment, so yeah, I wanted him to decide.