Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Once we’d finished with our negotiations, Con and I hadn’t spoken more than a few words to each other. I should have been happy about that but just like with the shit about him considering us a bad debt he had to pay off, his silence irritated me in a way I didn’t like admitting to.
We’d been in Nevada for three days and I could count on one hand how many times I’d interacted with the man. He was always up before us and already out of the house by the time I began cooking breakfast for the kids. The first morning, he’d left a note that he was going to go for a run and we hadn’t seen him again until close to lunchtime. I could still remember the moment when he’d entered the kitchen through the back door. I was in the process of cleaning up the remnants of the kids’ lunch when he’d stepped into the room shirtless and glistening with sweat. I’d very nearly dropped the dishes I’d been carrying.
Yeah, I’d already seen the man shirtless on more than one occasion, but it had been my first opportunity to see him up close and personal while my mind hadn’t been addled by pain medication.
To say Con was gorgeous was the understatement of the decade. Miles of tanned skin, muscles bulging in all the right places, and a handful of colorful tattoos on his shoulder, back, and side had left me as close to drooling as I’d ever been. His hair had been pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, revealing that the sides of his head were actually shaven, a detail I’d never noticed before.
While I’d been like a deer caught in headlights as Con had moved past me to get to the refrigerator, he’d done nothing more than greet me politely, grab a bottle of water and leave the room. Gone were those moments when he’d stand just a little closer than necessary. There were no more whispered endearments to calm me down or reassure me about something; no little touches that left my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest. My heart still always pounded when I saw him, but for all the wrong reasons. I should have been worried that he’d reach for me and demand I pay my way using my body or that he’d lash out at me in a fit of unexplained anger.
But no.
My heart wasn’t worried about any of those things. It wanted to explode out of my chest because I was so fucking desperate for something else.
Something I couldn’t admit to.
That I wouldn’t admit to.
The reality was that I was merely physically responding to a good-looking guy and nothing more. It was simple biology. And the fact that he didn’t seem to have that same problem didn’t bother me in the least. Hell, I was glad he wasn’t attracted to me.
Yes, I was.
“Fuck,” I muttered to myself as I flopped back on the cool grass and stared at the puffy clouds taking their time moving through the clear blue sky above me.
Although the weather was on the cool side, the kids and I hadn't been able to resist returning to the large pond that we’d discovered on our first day of exploring the lay of the land. Rory had been off and running, her beloved tutu forgotten as she reached the shoreline and kept right on going until she was waist deep in the water. Christopher, who’d still been on edge about the whole plan to stay in Nevada with Con, had automatically chased after Rory so he could keep her in sight, but it hadn’t taken long for his little sister to coax him into joining her and he too became lost in the joy of the water.
We’d made the same trek to the pond each day since then and while I couldn’t swim because of my cast, I loved sitting in the lush grass watching the kids be just that.
Kids.
I still had moments when I feared I’d made the wrong decision and wondered if I shouldn’t have just risked getting the kids to Alaska but ultimately, I’d remember that Alaska had always been a pipe dream, even from the time Brady had brought it up when I’d been a child. Back then it had been all we’d had and even though I was now the age Brady had been when Con had ended that dream for us, I hadn’t hesitated to give that same dream to my niece and nephew as their own worlds fell apart. It had sustained all of us as we’d watched our lives disintegrate. It'd given us something to look forward to, to hold on to, and ultimately it hadn’t really been about Alaska specifically. It had been about finding our own place that we could call home. A place where we weren’t always waiting for the next attack, physical or verbal. A place where we could actually breathe and just be a family.