Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
But his grip on me is so different now. Everything is different.
The way the warmth of his strong body envelops me and heats my blood.
The way our breath mingles and begs me to arch my neck and press my lips against his.
The way I lean into his chest and breathe in his scent. He’s slow to react when I place my hand on his thigh. He shushes me, cautiously, as if he’s not sure that’s what he wants to do. Slowly, he bends forward and kisses my neck.
This is so horribly wrong.
I need to be stronger than this. Stronger for Jay.
“How does this end?” I ask him.
He gives me a sad smile. “I don’t know, little bird,” he says looking down at me. “I don’t know what will happen when he finds out.”
I start to answer him, but the moment my lips open with a quick breath, he cuts me off.
“You need to go to bed.”
“Can I sleep with you?” I ask him although I hate myself for it. I crave his comfort, and I know he craves mine. He gently pushes a strand of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear, looking at me all the while with a tortured gaze.
“I want to touch you,” Jay says and the sadness in his voice is outweighed by desire.
“Then touch me,” I whisper, but it only cues him to stand, leaving me on the floor and staring up at him, the hope dimming with each passing second.
“I don’t trust myself,” he finally says and I shake my head, wiping the sleep and misery from my eyes.
The shame overwhelms me again. I’m so fucked up and broken for wanting him, but I do, so badly. Jay’s hand grips my chin, forcing me to look up at him although the touch is comforting.
“It’s not you, Robin,” he tells me and before I can answer him with a sarcastic remark he says, “I want to make it hurt.” His eyes are dark as he lets his hand fall. He turns his back to me as I let his words sink in. The muscles in his broad shoulders ripple in the dim light as he walks away from me, leaving me behind and he says with finality, “Now go to bed.”
Chapter 15
Robin
I roll over with a groan. The click of a door opening and closing wakes me from my sleep. My eyes hurt, and my head feels heavy. I didn’t sleep enough, but the second I come to, I don’t want to sleep.
Jay. I make a move to get off the bed, but my leg hits something hot and heavy.
I almost scream at the sight of Toby on the sheets, his jaws opening wide with a yawn. It’s a lazy yawn, as if there’s not a damn thing wrong in this dog’s life. He stretches on the bed as I slowly creep away, my heart beating fast even though I repeat to myself over and over that it’s okay. Not all dogs are the same. Just like people.
“He doesn’t want to hurt me,” I whisper with my eyes closed and when I open them, he’s staring back at me.
I notice the flecks of yellow in his chocolate brown eyes. His tongue laps along his sharp teeth and it’s all I can focus on for a moment, but only a moment before the big beast whines at me. The cry is strange as he whimpers and lowers his head, as if I’ve hurt him.
It takes me a moment, his big eyes on me before I climb off the bed, on the far side of the room. My toes hit the plush carpet and the absence of the warmth of the covers leaves goosebumps down my arms and legs. The silk nightgown is simply too thin for the early morning.
The dog’s head raises and he springs from the bed, his large paws thudding on the floor as he rounds the bed. He watches me for a moment before pacing to the door. He’s anxious as he looks back at me.
I worry that he won’t let me shut the door, that he’ll stay there in the doorway, both keeping me in here and also being too close for comfort. I’ve tried so long to rid myself of the fear of dogs and for a long time, it was bearable. But right now, it’s just too much.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Toby as he looks back at me with those eyes, like he doesn’t know what to do with me or what to think of me.
“It’s not you,” I try to talk to the dog, feeling guilty because of the look in his eyes, but the sound of steady steps approaching stops me mid-thought. My heart sputters and turns in my chest as Toby moves out of the room and to the right toward the living room.