Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Lex swallowed hard, but to my surprise, he didn't look away. His eyes stayed right on mine as he said, "I bought the cabins because I wanted to stay here longer. With you."
"Lex," I began because he was too late. He was just too damn late. But he barreled on as if I hadn't interrupted him.
"I was supposed to leave two weeks ago. When I called Harvey up to see if I could rent Birch Cabin for a few more weeks, he said it was already booked for the rest of the season. So were the other cabins. I… I knew that you needed me, but it wouldn't have been right to assume I could stay with you and I didn't want to stay in one of the hotels in the next town over, so I offered to buy the place. I was… I was desperate. I didn't want to leave." Lex's voice softened considerably as he said that last part.
"Your brother said you were trying to put the cabins in my name," I said. I loosened my hold on him because it was far too distracting to have him so close. I needed to hang on to my anger because it was all I had left. It was the only thing that was keeping me whole.
"After I made Harvey the offer and paid for all the people who'd booked the cabins to change their plans, I realized that I'd inadvertently made myself your boss. I started to worry that it would piss you off but then I also was worried that if I ever sold the place to someone else, you could potentially lose your job. I figured you could either run the cabins yourself or sell them and do whatever you wanted with any profit."
"Did it ever occur to you just to talk to me, Lex?" I said, unable to hide my disbelief that he’d gone through such ridiculous efforts just to stay near me for a little longer. I happily would've let him stay with me for as long as he’d wanted.
"No, Gideon, it didn't. I know that sounds insane, but…"
For the first time in our conversation, Lex dropped his eyes. I reached my fingers out to tip his head back up. "But what?"
"Believing that you wouldn't want me was a whole lot easier than waiting for you to actually say it."
"Lex—"
"Just… just let me finish, okay, Gideon? I can't promise any of it will make sense when I'm done, but I need to know that when you send me on my way, it's the real me that you're saying goodbye to. I don't want to wonder if I might've had a chance with you if I’d just been me."
His words broke my heart, but I knew that anything I said now would fall on deaf ears. He seemed to have this crazy notion that I hadn't seen the real him the entire time that we’d been together. But I was coming to realize that Lex had been blind for a long time now. Long before he’d lost his sight. "Okay," I said softly.
Lex nodded shakily and swallowed hard. "They found me when I was only a few hours old in a garbage can behind an elementary school on Lexington Avenue. That's how I got my name. The school was Parker Elementary. Lexington Parker. Lex," he murmured. "They never found my mom. I wasn't wrapped in anything; there was no note, nothing… just me and the rest of the trash."
I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I knew it could potentially derail the conversation. He was clearly struggling to hold it together. Part of me didn't want to hear anymore, while the other part needed to know everything. I remembered what King had said about Lex being a certain kind of strong. His words were starting to make sense.
"I became a ward of the state. A lot of babies in the same situation get adopted right away because there are plenty of people out there that want babies. But that number goes down pretty fast when it comes to the sick ones. And I guess I was pretty sickly from the start. I don't really remember the first dozen foster families, but the second dozen were a mixed bag."
It was all I could do not to make a sound when he rattled off how many foster homes he'd been in.
"Some of the families are genuinely nice and they try really hard to give the kids they’re taking care of a good life, but a kid like me takes up a lot of resources. Not just financial ones. It was easy to wear out my welcome pretty quickly. I guess I was never in one place long enough for anyone to really notice that I wasn't lying about not feeling good all the time. It’s not unheard of for kids in foster care to do anything they can to try to get a little extra attention. Some kids act out, some kids get clingy… some kids make up ailments that don’t exist."