Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
"Lex, just listen to the sound of my voice." I felt big warm hands clasp my face and then there was a whisper of air against my ear as Gideon began counting. I swore I actually felt the softness of Gideon's lips on my skin as he began calling out numbers. I wanted to laugh at the insanity that I could focus on that, but not have the fortitude to do something as simple as count from one to ten by myself.
"Lex, you need to listen to my voice," Gideon reminded me. "One," he began, then he paused. "Hold your breath until I count again," he said. I pulled in some air and held it, even though my body fought me. Gideon's right hand had moved so his fingers were stroking the back of my neck. I ignored my body’s need to fight for breath by focusing on those fingers and waiting for Gideon to call off the next number. "Two. Now let out the breath, Lex."
I did as he said, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch. But Gideon didn't falter, so neither did I. I stopped listening to the actual numbers after a while and just listened for Gideon’s command to breathe in, then out. I couldn't say how long it was before it no longer hurt to take a breath. When I was finally able to focus on something besides Gideon, it was a relief.
Like how Gideon’s skin felt warm against mine where he was still touching me. I was so tired that I wanted to just lean into him, but as I heard Gideon start talking to someone, I remembered where we were. His hands were still on my face and neck and when he shifted ever so slightly, I could feel his chest brush mine, so I knew that he was standing very close to me. Afraid of the message that might send to the people in this town who knew him, I eased myself out of his hold. I didn't want to risk embarrassing him in any kind of way. I'd been out for a long time, so I had a lot of experience with different reactions to my sexuality. While I got a lot more support than hate, there was always a kernel of fear within me whenever I was in a new environment. Not that I necessarily had a guy with me whenever I was somewhere new, but I wasn't foolish enough to risk Gideon's reputation.
"He's okay, Mrs. Larson," Gideon said. "Thank you."
Knowing that Gideon was within arm’s reach, I was able to calm down enough to hear what was happening around me. I heard the click-clack of heels on pavement as someone walked away, and behind me, I could hear some kind of fabric rustling. A flag, maybe?
"Lex, talk to me," Gideon said. His hand came out to rest on my arm again, but since I had no clue if we were being watched or not, I stepped out of his reach.
"I'm okay, sorry about that. I just got a little lost."
Gideon was silent for a moment, but thankfully it wasn't long before he said, "I'll take you home. You can tell me what you need, and I'll come back and get it."
I heard the truck door being opened. This time, when Gideon reached for my arm, I let him take it, but I didn't let him lead me toward the vehicle. Instead, I said, "Gideon, no, wait. I want to try this, if you don't mind. Even if I could only get a few things, I just need to know that this is something I can do someday. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but in the future."
The fingers on my arm tightened just a bit. I could sense Gideon's hesitation and I didn't blame him. I’d probably embarrassed him a great deal. "You know what, you're right," I began. "This was a bad idea. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'd like to take you up on your offer to get me a few things until Andre is able to get back here. I'll… I’ll make sure he stays in town so I have a ride in the future." I turned in what I hoped was the direction of the truck, but Gideon held fast and I was forced to stay where I was.
But it didn't last long because all of a sudden, I was being walked backwards until my back hit the truck. I could tell Gideon had caged me in with his body and arms because I felt them. I had a moment of panic when I thought maybe he was angry about having had to talk me down during my panic attack, but then Gideon said, "Are you reneging on your promise to buy me a cup of coffee, Parker?" The use of my last name and the way he asked the question made it clear that he wasn't at all angry. At least not in the way I’d thought.