Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
“Darling,” he whispered, barely audibly. “This still doesn’t mean we can be together.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“You know it doesn’t, Aksel.”
“I know no such thing.” Aksel’s voice was low and gentle, as if he were dealing with an easily spooked animal. “Stop fighting it, Luce.” Aksel’s hand on his back pulled him tighter. “Lucien.”
God, his head was spinning. All he wanted was to melt into him. “We can’t. We have no future together.”
“Says who?” Aksel said angrily. He heaved a sigh, his voice becoming toneless when he spoke again. “This year has been... empty in a way that fucked me up. I felt like my life was on pause, as if I was put together wrong.” He chuckled. “It makes sense, in a way. I’ve loved you all my life. It’s part of who I am as a person. I don’t know who the fuck I am if I can’t love you, if I’m not allowed to love you, if you don’t want me around. Even if I marry someone else, it wouldn’t change anything. I would still be miserable. I would still love you. I will stop loving you the day I stop breathing.”
Lucien swallowed. “You can’t mean that.”
“I can, and I do,” Aksel said. His eyes were fixed on him with an intensity that was both frightening and exhilarating. “I know you want me to be happy. But I’ll never be happy without you. All I want is you. Any other omega, no matter how beautiful, young, and fertile, would always fall short for me. It wouldn’t be fair to them. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids another omega might give me, because I would love them less than they deserve—because they would not be part of you. It sounds awful, but that’s the truth. I’d rather not have kids at all.”
“Darling,” he whispered, his vision blurring. “Don’t do this to yourself. You deserve so much more than an old, ruined, washed-up omega.”
“Let me decide what I deserve,” Aksel said, glowering at him. They stopped dancing completely. “And I’m done tolerating insults toward you—that includes you, Lucien. Enough. You’re not washed-up, you’re not old or ruined. I don’t give a fuck if we never have kids. I don’t give a fuck if some toxic assholes stop associating with me over the choice of my mate. As you saw yourself, the acceptance of people you don’t respect means very little. You’re enough for me. More than enough.” He cradled Lucien’s face in his hands. “You’re all I want. All I see is you. If the rest of the world disappeared, I wouldn’t give a damn, as long as I have you.”
Lucien tried to swallow around the lump in his throat and couldn’t.
“Remember the day we met?” Aksel said hoarsely, pressing their foreheads together. “I looked at you and... I’d never felt right in my skin until I met you, as if a vital piece of me was missing. I love you. I love you so much. Let me love you, Luce. Let me make you happy. Let me make you mine.”
He couldn’t do this anymore.
He was so tired of fighting his own heart.
But before he could say anything, the music stopped, and Lucien suddenly became aware of the whispers around them that were becoming louder and louder.
They weren’t actually alone.
They were in the middle of a party, with over a hundred guests in attendance.
Flushing, Lucien pulled back and looked around. He was met with wide, shocked eyes and open mouths. Everyone—literally everyone—in the room was staring at them.
Lucien licked his dry lips and looked back at Aksel.
Aksel didn’t even glance at the crowd, his eyes only on Lucien, searching. Still waiting. Waiting for him.
Fuck it.
Lucien took a deep breath.
“Well, it seems the cat is out of the bag,” he said with a crooked smile. “Might as well give them something to gossip about.” Burying his fingers in Aksel’s hair, Lucien pulled his head down and kissed him gently. It was surprisingly easy to ignore the shocked gasps when all he could smell and feel was Aksel. “I’m already yours, darling,” he whispered. “I have been yours for decades. I love you.”
Inhaling shakily, Aksel hugged him hard, his scent exploding with such elation it made Lucien’s toes curl.
Lucien melted into his embrace, burying his face against Aksel’s stubbled throat, and thought, I love you more than anything, I love you more than I love myself.
He didn’t say that, because he knew Aksel would be angry with him for thinking that way, but it was the simple truth. The truth was, he’d stopped hating himself and his body because Aksel loved him. Rationally, Lucien realized that it wasn’t a very healthy way of thinking, but he tried to be honest with himself. If Aksel’s love for him was part of who Aksel was, it wasn’t inaccurate to say that his love for Aksel was also part of who Lucien was. Maybe they’d been created for each other, to be each other’s. It was a comforting thought. Maybe true mates were real, after all.