Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
They could be friends. They could be friendly like this.
Nothing was going to happen.
Nothing.
Chapter Seven
We have never been friends, Luce.
Over the next few weeks, Aksel’s words kept replaying in Lucien’s head whenever he didn’t have anything else to occupy his mind.
What had Aksel meant? Was he right?
Were they not friends now, either?
Frankly, Lucien couldn’t answer that question. The problem with being friends with Aksel… it wasn’t easy to define their relationship. It had always been a little too intense, with no healthy boundaries or firm definitions of their respective roles. Lucien’s attachment to Aksel had always been complex, layered with different kinds of love and need. Despite him being older, he had often felt like Aksel was his big brother, someone to look up to, someone who could protect him. But other times, when Lucien remembered the way it had felt to nurse Aksel, the exquisite intimacy of providing him with what he needed, he thought his love for Aksel might be of a different kind. Which made him feel embarrassed and off balance, considering what Aksel had confessed. God, what a mess. Their relationship was a mess of epic proportions.
And yet, he seemed incapable of staying away from Aksel, despite the confusion he felt.
Whenever Aksel was home, Lucien felt it. He could feel him all the way across the huge mansion. It was like gravity. Inescapable. Impossible to fight or pull away from. Sometimes Aksel was the one who sought him out, but sometimes it was Lucien who couldn’t stand any distance between them.
It didn’t help that regardless of Aksel’s words that he wouldn’t push him, he was still as terrible at boundaries as he had been as a teenager. And it definitely didn’t help that Lucien was as bad at saying no to him as he used to be.
To Lucien’s dismay, it was ridiculously easy to fall back into old habits. Into bad habits.
While their adult obligations prevented them from spending all their time with each other, as they used to, Aksel seemed to gravitate toward him whenever he was free. He didn’t work regular hours—after the end of the war, Aksel had been assigned to the Opal House’s elite special forces team, and worked only when he was needed by the government. With Lucien working from home, they ended up in each other’s company more often than was probably advisable. But they weren’t doing anything wrong. Lucien had everything under control. They were just friendly.
Very friendly.
Still, he probably shouldn’t be allowing this.
“Aksel,” he chided, looking exasperatedly at the alpha all over him. Aksel hadn’t even said anything when he’d arrived: just stretched out on the couch half on top of him, laid his head on Lucien’s stomach, and closed his eyes. “I’m trying to work.”
“Then work,” Aksel said, without opening his eyes. “I’m not in the way.”
Lucien squirmed a little. He could feel the prickliness of Aksel’s facial hair even through the thin fabric of his shirt. It was... oddly distracting. He kept fixating on that, idly wondering what Aksel’s beard would feel like on his skin without the fabric in the way.
He shook his head, bewildered. What a strange thought.
“It’s difficult to focus with you here,” Lucien said, returning his gaze to his tablet—to his plan for his next lesson. “And your head is heavy.” And my brain gets all slow and weird when your scent is all I can smell.
“A few minutes. And then I’ll go.”
Don’t, he nearly blurted out.
Wincing, Lucien pinched the bridge of his nose. How was he supposed to set some proper boundaries between them when a part of him didn’t want any boundaries or space?
“Did something happen, Aksel?”
“Just a bad day at work. I need to de-stress.”
Lucien frowned. “What happened?”
Aksel’s wide shoulders moved in a shrug as he shoved his face even tighter against Lucien’s belly, as if he wanted to crawl into it. “Another day, another Xeus attempting to attack the prime minister. Nothing new.”
Lucien pressed his lips together. Prime Minister Taube’s disgusting prejudice against Xeus alphas was well known. Unfortunately, he got more approval for his views than hate.
“You must loathe it...” He ran his fingers through Aksel’s hair gently. “Protecting a bigot who doesn’t deserve protection. Working for him must be hell.”
Aksel made a noncommittal noise. “He’s no different from most people. You learn to ignore it.”
It made Lucien’s heart ache. No one should learn to ignore hatred and bigotry.
“Besides, I work for the Opal House, not him personally.”
Lucien shook his head. He knew Aksel was downplaying it. Aksel wouldn’t need to de-stress like this if the events of the day hadn’t gotten to him. He could only imagine what it felt like, to be forced to protect a man who despised him for what he was—a man he despised too.
“Hopefully Royce becomes the next prime minister, and you won’t have to deal with Taube anymore.”