Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
But I’d done it.
And now my lips were on Chase’s, and he let out a small, low moan that made every bit of the risk worth it.
He gently sucked on my lower lip, and he may as well have been sucking my cock for how ludicrously good it felt. I was desperate for so much more than just his kiss. It was the first time I’d kissed another guy, and the mountain of desire I’d ignored for years of my life was suddenly all on display, utterly exposed inside me.
I had always kept myself in control with other people, and right now I had lost control completely.
It felt like being in free-fall.
I was brazen and greedy, the same way I acted when I filmed my videos. My hands found their way to Chase’s waist and I pulled him in, threading my fingertips under the hem of his shirt and feeling his soft skin.
And holy fuck, it felt good to touch him.
11
CHASE
When I’d told Adam that tonight was never meant to be a hookup, I had been telling the truth.
And now that Adam’s lips were on mine, I could confirm beyond all doubt that kissing him wasn’t like anything I’d ever done before, either.
Adam’s lips tasted like a hint of watermelon vodka, and when his tongue slid out against mine it only became stronger. Every part of me wanted to yank him in even closer, to pull him right to my bed and lick every inch of his body, to show him exactly how desirable he really was.
Other than the very loud, very persistent part of me that was ringing like an alarm bell, right now.
“Hey,” I said against his lips as I felt him squeeze the skin near the small of my back. “This isn’t just the alcohol making moves on me, is it?”
“Fuck,” he whispered, running his lips along the side of my jaw. It sent a shiver of desire through me, and all I wanted to do was lean into his kiss again. “I wanted you when I was sober, too. I just was too afraid to do anything about it.”
I hummed as he sucked a slow kiss on the side of my neck. I reached for one of his hands, gripping it in mine and holding it tight for a moment. His hands felt so big, and feeling his height this close to me made me feel small in the best way.
“I have to ask you something, Adam,” I said. “And I kind of hate myself for it, but I need to know.”
“Please. Ask me anything,” he said.
“Is this really your first time doing anything with another guy?” I asked gently.
He pulled back, looking me in the eyes, a sense of worry settling in his expression. “That doesn’t matter. I’ve wanted it for years, Chase, I know I want it, and I don’t care if it’s just a one-time thing.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I told him, squeezing his hand a little tighter. “I promise you, I want to do absolutely fucking everything with you.”
I loved the flash of raw need that went through his eyes as I said it. “You do?”
“Of course I do,” I said, letting my voice drop low as I leaned in, unable to resist capturing his lips one more time between my teeth. I pulled back a moment later, resting my forehead on his. “But when we fuck for the first time, I don’t want you to be so drunk you barely remember it.”
He groaned, squeezing my hand. “You say that like you already know we’re going to…”
“Fuck?” I offered, trailing my free hand down the front of his shirt. “Yeah. I think we probably will.”
He moaned deeply and pulled in a sharp breath through his teeth. He bucked his hips forward, pressing the very hard tent in his pants up against my leg. I had been talking some big game, rolling the dice and hoping that he would like what I said.
In reality, I had no idea if we were going to have sex or not. I’d been disappointed enough times in the past to know that I couldn’t expect anything until it happened. And I wasn’t going to have Adam drunk, vulnerable, and caught up in the moment, thinking he wanted to hook up with me when in reality he wanted to be in love.
Even just thinking about the word love felt like pressing a deep, black-and-blue bruise inside me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let myself think about “true love.” I’d all but given up on the idea that it could exist for me at all.
Adam swayed slightly in my arms, and he let out a slow sigh. “I think I need some more water. And maybe a little bit of food?”
He really was drunk, at least for the time being, after pounding multiple shots almost back-to-back.