Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“The weather’s been so nice,” I agreed.
What the fuck was this? It was like the tables had turned completely and I was the one struggling to make conversation. Adam was standing there, polite as ever, making small talk with me about the weather.
“Chase, was there a reason you wanted me to come over?” he asked gently. “It really seemed like there was something you needed to talk about.”
“Let’s grab some of those beers,” I said, opening up the first pack. “Oh, nice, they’ve got a wheat beer. Come with me.”
I led him to the balcony door in the living room, pushing it open.
“This is awesome,” he said. “Can you ever see the stars out here? Locate any of the constellations?”
“Not many,” I said. “Too much light filters up from the street. I bet you get more good stargazing on your balcony further up in the mountains.”
“Most nights I go out and look for stars out there,” Adam said. “But you can catch a few out here, I bet. It’s really cool for looking down at the street, too.”
“I do love sitting out here.”
I was on the fourth floor, and the balcony looked out over Spruce Street. String lights lined the brick walkways below, and my view was mostly tree leaves, peppered with views of the street and people walking by underneath.
We sat down on the cushioned lounge chairs with our beers, the sounds of the evening filtering up from the street.
“There is something I want to talk to you about,” I said, my heart rate amping up already. “But let me get a beer in me first, okay?”
“That sounds ominous,” Adam said, giving me a look. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes. Totally fine. Mostly,” I said too quickly. The little glowing lights from the street reflected in his eyes and caught me off guard. “You look really good tonight.”
I’d barely been able to hold in the compliment, but I knew it was worth it when I saw the look of happiness and relief on his face.
“Thank God,” I said. “I was starting to think you hated me.”
“What? Why? How?”
He shrugged, taking a sip of beer. “I don’t know, Chase. I’m not good at reading people to begin with, but you’ve been acting… different around me, I guess. For most of my life, when people acted different around me, it only meant bad things.”
“No. God no,” I said. “No bad things. Adam, I really, really like you.”
The look on his face almost broke my heart. “Back in high school, I had a couple of friends who dropped me like a hot potato out of nowhere. It’s really stuck with me.”
“What happened?”
“Well, as kids, we were a trio,” he said. “We hung out all day, every day. Grew up together. But in middle school, things started to change. They always chose to hang out with other, more athletic guys, and I spent more time alone. Then in the first year of high school, they started really wanting to hook up with girls, drink, do drugs… until finally, they told me I was weird, and too nerdy, and that I was getting in their way, or something like that.”
Looking at Adam now, it was impossible to imagine anyone treating him that way. “Getting in their way?” I said softly.
“It was no big deal.”
I furrowed my brow. “It sure fucking sounds like a big deal. That would have destroyed me, especially at such a young age.”
Adam shrugged one shoulder, looking off into the evening air. “I was alone, mostly, after that,” he said. “Learned to get through school on my own.”
“You didn’t have friends in high school?”
He just shook his head and looked down. “Not really.”
God, that look killed me.
Right in the fucking chest.
“Adam…” I said, not even knowing how to process how lonely it must have been for a kid like him.
“But I know other people had it worse, with bullying.”
“It’s still fucked up,” I said. “Just because they weren’t bullying you physically doesn’t mean it felt good.”
“Thanks, Chase.”
“They’re crazy, too. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you?”
He puffed out a laugh, looking down at his beer. “Lots of people.”
“I want to be your friend,” I said. “And I sure as hell didn’t ask you to come over tonight to tell you I hate you.”
“Good,” he said. “It sounds silly when I say it out loud. I guess I’m conditioned to expect the worst.”
An old Mustang drove down Spruce Street, its red tail lights glowing as the engine purred through the night. The silence bloomed between us, and with every passing second I knew I should just say it.
I should tell him the truth.
Or say anything, for fuck’s sake.
Looking at Adam here on the balcony felt so completely different from looking at him in his videos that he may as well have been a different version of himself.