Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
I put my hands up in surrender when he balled his into fists. “Hey, he’s safe with me, George. He’s safe. I’m the one who’s upside down and fucking sideways. I’m supposed to get on a plane and be who I was last year…and I don’t think that’s possible. I don’t think that’s me anymore.”
“Then don’t fucking do it.”
“Don’t act like it’s so easy,” I snapped. “And what do you mean, you had a feeling?”
“You get goofy around guys you like,” George scoffed. “Always have. No one notices ’cause they aren’t looking for it, but I know you and I’ve basically gone through the same thing. I see the signs. The quick stares, longing looks. You’ve done it since you were in junior high. But you cannot fuck with Topher. If you—”
“He ended it,” I intercepted.
“Oh. Why? Did you do something? And why am I just finding out about this?”
“Because it’s not your fucking business,” I yelled.
“George?” Mom called from the bottom of the stairs.
We glared at each other for a moment.
“Yeah, Mom. We’ll keep it down,” he replied before facing me and continuing in a low voice. “What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Liar,” he hissed, stabbing his finger at my chest. “Knowing what you want has never been your problem, Simon. You’re lucky that you’ve been good at the things you enjoy. It makes it easy to work hard when you know you’ll succeed. But it takes a fuckin’ warrior to persevere when the road ahead isn’t clear.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means you have choices. Hey, you might go to Denver, you might play for a year or two or ten. You might meet a girl, settle down, and maybe this conversation won’t matter. But the fact that you’re standing here, looking the way you do tells me that you know what’s right for you isn’t going to be easy. So the real question is…are you brave enough?”
I wanted to punch him. But it was a damn good question.
Did I have enough to offer if I was just…me? Was I brave enough, strong enough, smart enough?
“I don’t know,” I choked.
“Wrong answer, dufus. You are. Your family supports you, and your real friends aren’t going anywhere. Choose your truth, Si.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, yeah. One more thing.” George hovered in the doorway with a piercing glare. “You were right. Whatever happened with you and Topher isn’t my business. I just don’t want you to hurt him or—”
“I would never hurt him.”
Of course my voice cracked. And of course he noticed.
“Oh.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and hung his head for a moment. “You’ll work it out, Si. You’ll know what to do.”
I nodded as if it were a foregone conclusion that I’d magically figure out how to get my life back on course. Then again, maybe it wasn’t a mystery after all. I knew what I wanted. And though I didn’t have a road map, I had a good idea of where I wanted to be…and who I wanted to be with. I just had to convince Topher to take a chance on me.
The hardest thing wasn’t going to be telling my truth. I didn’t care who knew I was bi. George was right. Our family and my real friends wouldn’t care. If my story was interesting to an LGBTQ advocacy group, I’d happily tell whoever was willing to listen. I met a guy, fell head over heels, and somewhere in between realized I’d been guilty of underestimating myself.
I wasn’t just Simon, the football player. I might not be as quick as Ben or a genius like George, but I had a brain and I knew how to use it. I had a knack for real estate investment, and I planned on finishing my degree. The rest would work itself out.
No, the harder part would be saying the words aloud…my career in football was over.
I came out to my parents at dinner and sure enough, telling them I was bi was easier than admitting they’d probably been right all along. My mom gasped in relief and broke into tears. Dad offered a handshake that turned into a long hug.
When he finally stepped away, he sighed. “You’ve had a good run, Si, but you can do good elsewhere now. Sky’s the limit.”
And when I added that I’d met someone special who happened to be a guy, they looked at each other, then smiled at me.
“We can’t wait to meet him.”
No joke. That was it.
All right. Good start. But I had to make my announcement official.
And win my man back.
The following day, I pulled into the library parking lot and dialed Ryan’s number. For once, he answered on the first ring.
“Simon, my friend and future Bronco. How’s it hangin’?”
I rolled my eyes. “Good, I—”
“Awesome, man. I actually don’t have time to talk. I’ve got another client on the line and you need to get your ass to the airport. Call me from Denver.”