Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“What are you yammering about?” Leezh asks him. “Why are you obsessing with fruit?”
I do not hear the answer because T’ia chokes on a sob and S’teph steers her away, glancing back at me. I follow, because what else can I do? I want to find my mate, but if I abandon T’ia in this moment all will look at me as the worst of creatures. Even so, I hesitate. I step towards the beach and towards F’lor, because the pull for her is greater than for T’ia.
S’teph grabs my arm and then drags me back toward T’ia. “Juth will find her, I’rec. All will be well. Talk first, or you will hurt Tia even more.”
Guilt makes me pause and then follow after S’teph. I hate it, but she is right. F’lor is not leaving. She cannot, not while we resonate so. I must be patient a little longer.
T’ia weeps the entire walk back to S’teph and Juth’s hut. Once inside, she collapses dramatically onto the pillows set near the firepit and sobs anew.
I know she likes attention and I know she likes to make big gestures, but for the first time, I am annoyed at T’ia’s actions. Must she be so…loud? Obvious? I glance at S’teph.
She sits down nearby and gestures that I should sit, too. “It’s okay. This is a safe space to talk.”
“What if I do not feel like talking?” I eye the comfortable pillows across from the females as if they are filled with dung. I have no desire to sit down and get comfortable. I just want to leave. I want to find F’lor. Rubbing my chest, I glare at my surroundings. “F’lor should be here.”
“Fuck F’lor,” T’ia cries, sitting up suddenly. Her wild, curly mane—now much longer than before—puffs around her face. “How could you, I’rec?”
How could I fuck F’lor? Is that what she is asking? It should be obvious. “It was resonance.”
“Now, Tia,” S’teph says in a gentle voice. “I realize you’re feeling hurt, but I want to remind you that resonance chooses the partners, remember? I’rec did not choose Flor. Resonance did. You cannot blame him for a biological urge, and assigning blame won’t help things. Maybe try phrasing it as ‘I feel betrayed’ instead of accusing directly.”
T’ia looks directly at me. “I feel betrayed,” she hisses, echoing S’teph’s words. “I feel like you didn’t even wait for me to get here! You just fucked the moment you felt something resonate!”
Confused, I nod. “Of course. That is what you do when you resonate.”
She breaks into fresh sobs. “How could you! I was coming here to be with you!”
Her words make me flinch. I knew the truth of it, but hearing it aloud is entirely different. Guilt surges again. “But it was resonance…and I am not sad it chose me. F’lor is a good mate for me.”
“What about me?” T’ia asks pitifully. Tears stream down her face. “How can you throw me aside like I was nothing?”
I give S’teph a confused look. “Because it was resonance,” I say again. “Does she not understand this part? Did she forget what resonance is?”
S’teph makes a sympathetic face. She clasps her hands in front of her. “I think what Tia is trying to communicate is that she feels betrayed because you did not wait for her arrival to fulfill your resonance—”
“Oh my god, you already fulfilled it?” T’ia shrieks. “Seriously? I thought you just resonated a day ago?!”
“It was two days ago,” I clarify. “And it has not yet been fulfilled.”
T’ia sighs. “Well that’s something, at least—”
I continue. “We have mated many times but we yet resonate. We will probably need to mate many more times before it takes.”
T’ia’s eyes widen.
S’teph puts her face in her hands.
“Are you serious?” T’ia asks.
“Why would I not be serious?” Is this the important conversation we were to have? I am growing more annoyed by the moment.
S’teph clears her throat. “Okay, this is going poorly. Let me step in here. I’rec, Tia is hurt and blindsided by the timing of things. She’s hurt and she is lashing out at you because you’re the source of the hurt. I think she was expecting her return here to be very different.” Her voice gentles and she looks over at T’ia. “And you are attacking him because you feel he’s responsible somehow, but you know how this works, Tia. You’ve seen it happen a dozen times over. Resonance can’t be fought. I thought it was exaggerated until it hit me, and then I understood. Trust me when I say it’s impossible to fight it. You can no more stop resonance than you can hold back the ocean.”
T’ia sniffs, wiping at her face. “But Mari and T’chai—”
“No,” S’teph says gently. “Even they would tell you that it’s a terrible idea.”
I remain silent, my arms crossed. I am comforting the wrong female here. I should not be concerned with T’ia’s tears. F’lor is the only one that matters now, and being here is a waste. I feel for T’ia and her pain, but no more than I would for any other female of the tribe. The emotions I felt for her vanished the moment my khui sang.