Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Evan laughed. “Well, to me, Celia looks like the kind of person I would imagine he would be with. She’d look good next to him on a Christmas card. You know, I wasn’t surprised when Cord told us Breckin came from a wealthy family. He’s got that thing about him that tells you that’s how he was raised.”
“Like what?” I asked, my voice muffled in the pillow.
“Like I said before, you can tell he’s about money and prestige. He wants more. He wants to be wherever he used to be. It chafes him that I make more money than he does.”
“Oh, it does not. He couldn’t care less.”
Evan grunted.
“Is it bad that I don’t care?”
“No,” he rushed out. “That’s good. Now you can see other people around you.”
“What?”
“Like Cord.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I always thought it would be awesome if you guys ended up together.”
“Cord,” I repeated, rolling back over so I could see my brother. “Have you lost your mind?”
“No.”
“Evan, you—”
“You realize you’re exactly alike.”
“Yeah, no,” I grumbled. “We’re nothing alike.”
“You’re wrong. Everything he wants, you want.”
I shook my head. “You’re deluded.”
“I’m not.”
“How do you even…”
“What?”
“You don’t know Cord.”
He chuckled. “I’ve known him just as long as you have, but unlike you, I’ve been out drinking with the man. I’ve sat and listened to him and Alex talk about what they want their futures to be and about their dreams and everything.”
“You have?”
“Of course I have.”
“Huh.”
“He wants a home, he wants kids, he wants to coach soccer, vacation at Disneyland, and have someone to come home to who wants to take care of him. Period. End of story.”
“So he wants a wife? Or actually, the stereotype of a wife.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I don’t mean take care of him like iron his clothes and make him dinner. I mean take care of him emotionally. Be his safety net.”
I squinted at him.
“Don’t be so provincial,” he said disgustedly.
I groaned loudly.
“And you want all that same stuff.”
“So did Breckin.”
“As I said, Breckin wants a yacht and to belong to a country club.”
“You’re being extremely judgmental.”
“About what? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be rich and have money and the life that wealth provides. That’s great. More power to him. The issue is only that he wants status while you couldn’t give a fuck.”
That was true.
“I’m telling you, even if Breckin never cheated, you guys would’ve been donezo eventually anyway. Your future was never bright.”
“You used to like the man,” I reminded him again.
He shrugged. “I like Cord better. Always have.”
“Why do you keep bringing up Cord?”
“Because he gets you.”
“Where is this even coming from?”
“I told you, we’ve talked.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Believe me or don’t,” Evan said, smiling down at me warmly. “But I know for certain that Cord wants you, Trace.”
I rolled my eyes. “Man, whatever you’re taking, you need to fuckin’ share, ’cause all they gave me was giant Motrin.”
He laughed softly. “I always thought you’d make a really good husband for a policeman.”
“Why?”
“Because you know it’s dangerous, but you wouldn’t let that run your life. I think that’s how a policeman’s mate has gotta be.”
“Cord. Right. Cordell Nolan could have a contest for dog of the year with any of your slick Hollywood friends. See which of them could break more hearts and fuck more people.”
Evan took a breath. “I think because you’ve had what, two lovers in your life, that you equate sex with love where the rest of the world does not. Why are you so judgmental about screwing lots of people? If they want it, and you want it, and everyone is a consenting adult, how is that bad? Why does that make Cord a dog?”
He had a point. I did tend to be a bit judgy where Cord was concerned.
“And if Cord’s a dog in your book, I am too. But I can promise you I’ve never broken any hearts. People know I’m not ready for serious from the jump. Same with Cord, same with Alex, same with most of the people I know. A lot of folks, not everyone, but you see it in the news, they’re getting married later and later. Like, most of the people I know want puppies and plants, not kids. None of my friends are married, and that’s both the men and the women. But everyone is having sex, on their terms, when they want and how they want.” Grinning, he said, “Get out of the 1950s, man. You’ll like it better here in the future.”
I was quiet, thinking about what he said.
“Can I ask you a question?” Evan moved closer and lay down on the bed right next to me so we were touching down the lengths of our sides.
“Of course.”
“Do you think, maybe, that the reason you think of Cord as a heartbreaker is because he broke your heart when he wasn’t serious about you all those years ago?”