Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Get the fuck out of my head!
I kissed her harder. She groaned into my mouth, ran her hand down my chest, my stomach, into my pants.
Come on, come on, come on, I mentally begged my dick to get hard.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get you there,” she replied, rubbing my soft cock with the palm of her hand. I hated myself in that moment, for what I was doing, for what I couldn’t do, for being weak, and for the thoughts that had plagued me my whole damn life.
Please just let me get hard.
She kissed her way down my throat, lowered herself, worked my button, and fucking Beau was there again—his laugh and that goddamned smiley face on his bicep.
I looked down at her, tried to see her, but Beau kept being there, the feel of him when we wrestled in the pool.
She pulled me out, this woman who just wanted to pleasure me. Maybe not because of me, more because of who I was, but still, it didn’t seem fair to do this to her, to use her the way I’d done too many times. I hoped she could make me feel something else…anything. I just needed to feel.
“I can’t,” I said, and she immediately stopped.
“What?” She looked up at me.
“I’m sorry. It’s not you. I had a lot to drink…there’s a lot on my mind, and I just… I can’t.” I pulled away, tucked my soft cock back in, buttoned and zipped my pants. My head was spinning, my stomach turning.
She began straightening out her dress, looking away.
“I’m sorry. It’s not you,” I said again. “I’m trying to clean up my image,” I lied, and she flinched. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. Let me walk you back to the bar.”
“I’m just going to go home.”
“I’m sorry,” I told her again.
“I just kissed Ashton Carmichael. I’ll be okay.” She winked, then turned and walked toward the street. She rounded the corner just as I let go, clutching my stomach as I vomited all over the dirty alley.
I wiped my mouth, then walked the opposite direction until I hit the next main street. I heard music and noticed another bar on the corner. It was a small building, country music playing inside, a totally different atmosphere from where I’d just been. My shot came quickly, and I swallowed it down, ordered another and drank that one too.
I couldn’t get hard. There had only been a couple of times in my life that had happened, but usually I was at least able to get myself hard.
In that moment, I hated Beau. I’d spent my whole life never truly sure if he hated me or not, but I hated him. It was his fault. I was able to ignore it when he wasn’t around. Every time I couldn’t hold it back, every time I fucked up and gave in, it was because of him.
I fumbled with my phone, trying to pull it out of my pocket. It dropped to the ground. I almost vomited again when I picked it up. I tossed money on the bar and made my way out again, listening to it ring. When the voice mail picked up, I hung up and called again.
I just made my way into the humid air when I heard, “Ash?” mixed with the thumping bass and a pop song.
“Fuck you!” I screamed at Beau. “Fuck you,” I said again, softly, my voice breaking. I turned a corner, kept walking, without any idea where I was going.
“Where are you, Ash?” he asked, his voice filled with kindness…with pity.
“Fuck you,” I said again and again and again, and he let me. “I tried, Campbell, I fucking tried. Why can’t I make it go away?”
“Because it’s who you are,” he replied, and I realized it was quiet then, that Beau must have left the club.
“No.” I shook my head, leaning against a brick building.
“Where are you?” he asked again.
“Going to come and save me? That’s what you do, right? You’re a hero.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Funny you should mention dick, because mine’s broken. I couldn’t even get hard tonight. She wasn’t impressed.”
“Not broken, Ash. Maybe it’s just fixed now. Maybe it knows what it wants.”
“This is weird. We need to stop talking about my cock like this.” Fucking Beau. It was always him making me feel comfortable enough to say stupid-ass shit like my dick is broken.
“Yeah, well, I just walked out on someone who was quite interested in my cock too, so do me a favor and tell me where you are so I can take you and your weird ass home.”
“I thought we were talking about dick?” I asked, unable to believe I was joking at a time like this.
“You said we couldn’t talk about it anymore, and stop trying to be funny. It’s okay to just be you. You don’t always have to try so hard. Not with me.”