Total pages in book: 17
Estimated words: 16214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 81(@200wpm)___ 65(@250wpm)___ 54(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 16214 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 81(@200wpm)___ 65(@250wpm)___ 54(@300wpm)
My life has been one big question. One huge merry-go-round of why’s and questions. Does my mom love me? Why does she hate me? Why doesn’t she want me to be happy? Who am I?
The only time I ever knew the answer to anything, it was when I met the love of my life in high school. Yeah, that is when everything became clear. I am going to finish school, marry him and be happy. Sounds simple right? Especially because he felt the same. Then, everything changed, my world was turned upside down and the questions came back.
Now here I am, five years later, living in a different state, taking care of the only certain thing in my life. I am about to embark on the biggest adventure of my life, thus far. Just when I think I am ready and have everything under control, my world is turned upside down once again, but the difference is now, he has questions. I just don’t know if I will ever be ready to answer them. But ready or not, he is not going away and everything is coming full circle. I just hope when it is all over, some things remain the same.
Joshua
I met my love in high school. She was everything to me. She was the light showing me everything I thought I knew and that was just the beginning. From the moment I met her every decision I made after was with her and our future in mind. When i left to go to college, i thought i left her with enough reassurances to know, she is it for me and I will be back.
I came back and she was gone. Vanished like I had conjured her from the most wonderful dream. But she was real and she was mine. My future. No matter what I did, who I asked and how much I searched, I couldn’t find her.
I was lost. Unsure. Asking myself the fundamental questions. Then, the light came back and she was found. I wasted no time in tracking her down, my heart soaring, my head angry. Only, what I find is not my beautiful girl, but a gorgeous woman who wants nothing to do with me. Or so she says.
I ask her everything I have been dying to know, including the biggest one, slated to change my life, but she thwarts me and stalls. She thinks she can ignore me, ignore this love between us that distance could not change. But she can’t. First, she has to talk to me, tell me the truth, and then, both of us will get what we are searching for. Forever. Now that I have found March, I am never letting her go.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
PROLOGUE
MARCH
ONE MONTH AGO
“Mommy, look what Auntie January and Auntie February got me.” Excitedly, Juniper holds up three Barbie’s, and I see a Barbie house to the side of the couch. Rolling my eyes so my daughter can’t see, I give my sister the death stare before smiling at my sweet girl.
“Oh my gosh. That is awesome. I had Barbie’s, too, when I was your age. I loved them. What do you say to your auntie’s?” She runs to each of them and gives them hugs before running off to play, giving us time to talk. “You two are too much. Seriously, how am I supposed to get this behemoth home?” Definitely not by mail.
“Oh I thought of that. Oliver has a reunion with some service buddies in Arizona in a month and a half which is perfect because you should be back by then.”
“Ah. Well, tell him thank you for me. So, how is the pregnancy?” January is now two months pregnant, and Feb is four weeks.”
“So far no nausea. Maybe I will be lucky.” Jan says. “Did you have morning sickness?” Ugh. I hate thinking about my pregnancy. It was definitely not the best time of my life. It would have been worse if it weren’t for my grandpa.
“I did in my third month. But seeing as how I was in high school; I was under a lot of stress as well.” I was alone, so I was under a lot of stress.
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that. You always allude to it but never talk about it. What happened?” Damn it. I don’t want to talk about this, but they are my sisters, and I know they won’t judge.
“Okay, I will give you the short version. I was in high school and so was he. The summer I got pregnant was the best time of my life. I had stars in my eyes. All I could think about was how we were going to be married after graduation and have a family of our own. His family was rich, and he never introduced me, mostly at my own request which I now know was because of the brainwashing my mom did, but they knew about us. Before I could even tell him I was pregnant he had left for college. I managed to hide it from my mom for quite some time with baggy clothes and such but one day she came into my room while I was showering, and she realized. Before I knew it she was telling me his family would either try to take my baby or spread rumors about me that make me the town pariah. So, she shipped me off to my grandpa in Arizona and that was that.” They both look appalled for a second before recovering.
“What a bitch,” Feb says, turning up her nose.
“My thoughts exactly.” Jan says. “But the one thing I don’t get is why you didn’t go look for him?” I chuckle and turn my head before answering that.
“I don’t need to look for him. I have always known where he would be,” I say in my snarkiest tone. “He is probably living his most wealthy life with bimbos and such. No, my daughter is better off not knowing. Plus, she doesn’t need to know a family that doesn’t want her. At least until she is a bit older. Besides, she never asks about him. So maybe when she starts too, I will tell her some things and not the others.”
“That makes sense,” Jan says. Yeah, I thought so, too. So why does it still hurt?
PROLOGUE
JOSHUA
PRESENT DAY
When I was seventeen years old and just starting my senior year of high school at Nixon High in Seattle, Washington, I met the love of my life. She was sixteen and starting tenth grade. Her locker was right next to mine. On day one, I knew she was something special. She ran up to her locker, and the scent of her signature perfume surrounded me. I’ll never forget that scent. Miss Dior. It’s been over five years, but even to this day, when I smell it on another woman, I get sick to my stomach. It doesn’t belong on anyone but her. I asked her to the Twisty Freeze after school and she said yes. The rest was history.
We were together every waking moment for the entire year, through the summer. I went on to college with the expectation that we’d do the long-distance thing until she could join me. We had the rest of our lives planned out. Everything changed when I came home for Christmas, and she had disappeared. I begged her mother to tell me where she was, but she wouldn’t tell me a damn thing. She refused to meet my parents, so I couldn’t even have my parents keep an eye on her while I was gone. The day I left for Georgia; I knew I should have deferred college until she could join me. Something felt off, but she told me to go. I had a football scholarship, but I also had a trust fund. I could have waited. I should have waited. What was two years when I didn’t have her?