Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
It was all such a fucking mess.
My hand shook as I tugged my phone out of my pocket. Ian still hadn’t answered my texts.
Where are you?
Let me know you’re okay?
I’m worried.
I’d called him too with similar messages, trying to give him his space but also to make sure he was okay. When I called him this time, the filter dropped away. The call went straight to voice mail, as it had all day. “You can’t do this, okay? You can’t disappear on us. On me. We need you. I need you. I love you and I need you, Ian. Don’t push me away. Don’t run, because I’m not. I’m here and I’m staying, and damn you for not being here too. Damn you if you run away and leave me, leave us, because you’re scared.”
I shoved my cell back into my pocket, then collapsed, sitting sideways on one of the loungers, my back to the door. Why was everything suddenly falling apart? And Tony…no matter what, I hoped he would be okay. I felt so damn in the dark, not knowing if Tony was okay, or what David was going through, or where Ian was.
My head began to spin, and my hands tightened in my hair.
“Hey,” Finley said softly.
“Where is he?”
“I’m sorry.” Finley sat beside me, wrapped an arm around me. “Haven’t heard from David yet either?”
“No. What if Tony isn’t okay?” What would that do to David? Especially if he’d treated him.
“Then that will be a tragedy, but the three of you will work through it together.”
I nodded, trying to believe him. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there, Finley with his arm around me, my head on his shoulder, before Ian’s shoes were in front of me and he was kneeling down. Suddenly, I could breathe.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to let myself be in the only place where I really wanted to be…where I belong…with you, taking care of you and letting you take care of me while we wait for Sir.”
I shoved to my feet and threw myself at him. Ian’s arms came around me. I buried my face in his neck, and for the first time since David texted, I began to let go. My whole body shook as I cried. Being in Ian’s arms felt so good, so right. He was right. This was where we belonged, together, but while a part of me felt relief, felt this was home, I wasn’t completely fulfilled, pieces of me still empty and raw.
“Shh. It’s okay. I got you.” Ian nudged me toward the lounge chair, and I noticed Finley had gone inside. We lay down, wrapped up in each other, his hand on my hair, his tongue and mouth kissing and licking away my tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. I’m trying. I was just so scared… I was scared we’d lose David and that I wouldn’t be enough for you. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I ran. That’s what I’m used to doing, but I don’t want to run anymore. How do I run away and live without sunshine on my skin?”
I gasped at his words. They fit themselves inside me, steadied my heart, rushed through my veins. “I love you too. You’re enough for me. You’ll always be enough for me. I would never walk away from you.”
“I know,” Ian whispered softly. “It’s crazy how much I can love you, need you, and feel like you’re enough for me, but also love him and need him. Does that make sense?”
I nodded. It was as if he’d plucked the words from my head, from my heart. “Yes, because I feel the same.” We were quiet for a few minutes before I said, “Daddy loves us. That won’t change. He would never hurt us.”
“I know.”
We lay there together, just soaking each other in, holding each other for who knew how long.
Eventually, we made our way back inside.
Aidan scolded Ian, “You can’t do this, boy. If you’re going to be involved in this, you have to do what’s best for them—for the three of you as a whole. I know this is new for you, and I know David mostly takes the lead, but you need to be there for Jordan. You need to let him be there for you, and there will be times when you’ll have to take care of David too, unless you plan to share him.”
My chest tightened at the thought. Daddy was ours. Maybe if it was Aidan, it would be okay, but no one else.
“I know. Thank you, Aidan. Maybe…” Ian’s gaze shot to the ground. “Maybe that could be something you’d talk with me about sometimes? David does, but I’d like to learn to be good for him. I think you could help me with that.”