Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Jordan frowned, looking slightly concerned.
“I’m sure you’ve seen me on the phone or getting calls from Tony?”
He nodded.
“He’s my best friend, but he’s also an ex. We were… We loved each other, but it wasn’t right for us. The things I need didn’t mesh with his.”
“Sex?”
“Yes, but it’s more than just sex for me.” I told Jordan the whole story, everything I’d shared with Ian about my past with Tony. Jordan listened, waited.
“Are you still in love with him?”
“No,” I answered truthfully.
“Okay. Thank you for telling me.”
“There’s nothing I won’t share with you, kitten.”
He smiled, bit his lip. “Thank you, Daddy.” Then he put his head in my lap, and I played with his hair.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Ian
“Oh my God! I missed you so much!” Finley flung his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. I melted into it, savored it. Finley had been my safe place for years, something I wasn’t sure I ever told him. Did he know how much I cared for him? How much I needed him? Finley had always counted on me, but did he know how much I counted on him as well?
“I missed you too. Don’t do that again. You were gone too long.” We finally managed to pry ourselves from each other.
He and Aidan had come home from Texas yesterday. Aidan was already at work. Finley didn’t have a job, and since he wasn’t in school for the summer, he spent his time where he wanted, taking care of his home and serving Aidan.
“Do you want a margarita? I asked Aidan, and he said we could have some. I figured we could lounge by the pool.”
That sounded perfect to me, but I also couldn’t help thinking about the first time we drank margaritas at his house—Finley, Jordan, and me. We’d gotten drunk and danced, and I’d made Finley feel bad about wanting to ask Aidan’s permission. So he hadn’t, and then…well, that led to that moment when the five of us had the one and only sexual encounter between us—the one Aidan had told me I could step out of the room for…but I hadn’t. I hadn’t wanted to.
“Sure, a margarita would be great,” I told Fin.
We went into the kitchen, made our drinks, then headed out to the lounge chairs. When we hung out, it was often by their pool.
We sat down, and I had a sip of my drink before saying, “Hey…I’m sorry if I ever made you feel weird about the stuff you want or the things you and Aidan do. It’s something I always struggled to understand, but that doesn’t mean I should have made you feel like there’s something wrong with it.”
“What? You always supported me. You took me to meet guys, even when you knew I wouldn’t go through with it. You made plans with me to ensure I was safe. Hell, when I couldn’t get Aidan to fuck me, you helped me come up with ideas like playing with my dildo in front of him or leaving it out where he would see.”
That was true. I’d done all that, but… “But I wasn’t always understanding. And sometimes, maybe a little judgy.”
“That’s because it’s not for you, which is okay. I never took it personally.”
Was it not for me? Sure, what I did with David and Jordan wasn’t to the extent of what Finley did with Aidan, but on some level, it seemed it was for me, and I had a feeling David was easing me into it and we’d be doing more. Maybe in some ways, it had always been for me, but I was too afraid to admit it. I might still be.
“Where is this coming from?” Finley asked.
I took a few quick swallows of my drink. My throat hurt, feeling like it had turned to ice, but I ignored it.
The thing was, I knew I couldn’t keep this from Finley, not with him home now. And I didn’t want to. I just didn’t know how to tell him. It was a whole lot easier to focus on his problems or wants and needs. That, I was good at. My own stuff, not as much.
“Oh my God!” He sat up in the chair and crossed his legs, facing me. “You and David.”
“How…?”
“Because he eats you up with his eyes all the time. Well, you and Jordan both…but then…Jordan has always wanted him, and that might get weird… Hey, you were acting strange too when Jordan said he wanted to play with David. Almost jealous…”
My eyes darted away.
“Holy fuck!” he screeched. “Oops. Glad Aidan wasn’t here to hear that. But you, David, and Jordan? What the hell have I been missing?”
Thank God he figured it out. That somehow made it easier. “Obviously, you know I moved in with him…and he and Jordan were doing their thing. I was jealous, which is fucked because I didn’t realize it at the time…or maybe that I was jealous of both of them? But then, I didn’t know if it was simply because they had someone, and you have Aidan, and I was worried everyone would have someone and leave me behind, but—”