Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
He’d informed the restaurant of Fern’s peanut allergy upfront, telephonically, by email, and by text, but he was still concerned. What if some incompetent arsehole hadn’t gotten the message and they added a peanut based ingredient?
The thought chilled his blood. But he’d deemed it worth the risk if it meant seeing her eyes light up in happy surprise.
Only, she’d barely reacted.
Now they sat in silence, still on the entrees, and Cade awkwardly cast about for something to say, while the rest of their meal stretched endlessly ahead of them.
“What did you do today?” He’d spent most of the day at their Cape Town branch troubleshooting an unforeseen emergency. It had been his first full day away from her.
“Caught an Uber to Camps Bay and walked on the beach a bit,” she intoned, in that awful lifeless voice she’d been using since Friday.
He didn’t like the thought of her roaming about in public alone, but decided to let that go for now. Best to pick his battles and he had bigger fish to fry tonight.
“Have you spoken to Beth?”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes on her plate.
“I told Gideon and the rest about your pregnancy,” he said. He’d sent the news in the group text just the day before. His siblings’ reactions had been pretty much on par with what he’d expected. Disbelief then relentless teasing. He’d asked them to keep it from their father for now.
Nox had gone quiet again since their lunch at Gideon’s place and had broken that silence only to offer a curt—and unwanted—congratulations in response to Cade’s.
Gideon and Kenny’s questions had been more probing. They’d mostly been curious about the when, with only Gideon asking—privately—how Cade felt about the development.
Cade’s reply to the question had been an honest I don’t know and Gideon had dropped the subject.
“Oh?” That brought her eyes up to his, but there was only the merest flicker of interest in her dull gaze.
He didn’t like seeing her like this. Not at all. And he blamed himself.
“Yes,” he said. “They congratulated us. Gideon told me in private afterward that Beth really enjoyed your day out last week. She was excited about possibly doing more stuff together. But apparently you haven’t been returning her calls and texts?”
“I’ll get to it,” she said, trying to suppress that enduring flicker of guilt that came up every time she thought of Beth.
“We should invite them to dinner. You wanted that, right? You can cook something spectacular.”
Her face was resolute as she met his eyes directly and said, “No, Cade. I don’t want that. Not anymore.”
“Why not?” She baffled him. What exactly did she want from him? Couldn’t she see that he was trying here? “I thought you enjoyed spending time with her.”
“I can’t…” She stopped, seeming to consider her words carefully, before continuing. “I’d rather not.”
“Fern, I know—”
“Why did you bring me here?” she interrupted him abruptly and he suppressed the surge of frustration at the deliberate shift in topics.
“I thought you’d like it,” he said and she pressed her lips together in displeasure. “You talked about it, that day on the beach. Said you’d like to eat here. Tell me why you’d rather not spend time with Beth?”
He determinedly brought the subject back to the point and she slammed her fork back on the table with barely suppressed violence, causing the water in her glass to slosh a little and dampen the pristine white tablecloth.
“Because she’s married to your brother, Cade!” she snapped, abruptly losing patience. “She a real Hawthorne, not a pretender like me. She’s a loved and respected member of your family and after I leave, she will still be one of you and I’ll be alone again.” She shook her head slightly, her gaze turned inward, as she placed a palm over her abdomen and the smallest of smiles graced her lips. “No… not quite alone. I’ll have my baby. And he and I will form our own family. But my point is, allowing myself to get close to Beth will only result in heartache. For both of us. I’ve lost enough in my life. And I refuse to set myself up for even more disappointment and loss.”
Her admission troubled him, but it didn’t surprise him. He should’ve realized sooner that she felt this way. Of course, she felt this way. She struck him as someone who’d been yearning for acceptance and searching for a place to belong for most of her life.
“I didn’t mean for you to feel like you had no place here, Fern. Or to ruin the friendship you’re building with Beth. By now, I’m sure you’ve recognized that she’s not someone who toes the family line, so to speak. Whatever happens between us…”
“Separation and divorce resulting in a complete loss of contact, you mean?” she clarified succinctly and he paused for a moment as he considered her words.