Total pages in book: 211
Estimated words: 201554 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1008(@200wpm)___ 806(@250wpm)___ 672(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 201554 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1008(@200wpm)___ 806(@250wpm)___ 672(@300wpm)
“I do not want or need another woman. Never once did I think about having kids until I found out about your pregnancy. I want you, Harper. If that means we have kids, we have kids. If we don’t, we don’t.”
“You say that, but—”
“I don’t want a child to inherit this Kingston hell. So should we use a condom, yes, because I want closure first.”
Which we may never get, I think. He may never really feel this is over. But I love him and I can live with that. “I understand.”
“This isn’t about us, Harper. It’s about them.”
My gut twists but I nod. “I know.”
He studies me a moment, and I don’t know what he sees, what he wants to see. “Go to the bathroom, but don’t go run to the bathroom.”
I curl my fingers on his face, overwhelmed by what I feel for him. “You’re an amazing man. I wish you knew that.” I kiss him and then roll off the bed.
I hurry into the bathroom, and shut the door, leaning against the hard surface and staring down at my belly. I don’t think I can have kids, and even if I can, I don’t think this is the right time. Eric and I are finding each other, and he’s still trying to learn to love himself. He doesn’t need that pressure right now and I don’t want the pressure of thinking we end up together for a baby, not because we chose that option.
I give myself a mental shake.
I need to let this go and find out what happened tonight with Eric’s father. I quickly clean up and take the liberty to dig in Eric’s closet, and pick a T-shirt, and tug it over my head. It’s big and long, but even clean, it smells like him, and I like it. For just a moment, I survey his well-organized closet, and imagine my things here and my emotions need a U-Haul. They are just so full I need to cut them off until later. It’s time to go back to Eric.
This sets me in action and when I open the bedroom door, he’s sitting on a chair by the window with his pants on, and cellphone at his ear. The instant he spies me, he disconnects and stands, closing the space between us.
His hand slides under my hair, his fingers resting on my neck. “As much as I love you in my shirt, you need to get dressed.”
“Did something happen?”
“Blake and Savage are downstairs and I know how upset you were tonight. I don’t want to leave you in the dark. I want you to come down with me.”
I’m surprised and pleased, but also concerned. “Thank you for that, but what happened with your father?”
“Get dressed and we’ll talk before we go down.”
I nod and we quickly pull on our clothes, sitting down on the end of the bed when we’re done. Eric doesn’t immediately speak and I cover his hand with mine. “What happened?”
He draws in a heavy breath laden with emotion I cannot read when he’s facing forward, not looking at me. “He’s alive,” he says flatly, before he tilts his stare to me. “I’m not sure he meant for me to be right now, though.”
My eyes go wide and I slide down in front of him on my knees. “What does that mean?”
“I refused to go to his room. I told him to meet me at another location. He sent a goon. It could have been an attempt to scare me, but he knows that wouldn’t be an easy task to complete.”
“What happened? Tell me everything.”
“I left the guy he hired holding his balls in pain and came back here but this is war. I got ahead of all of this, Harper. We need to wear a condom until this is over. We can’t bring a child into this.”
My throat tightens. This is what he does. He lifts me up and tears me down, but logically he’s right. I know he’s right. “Yes. I agree.”
“This won’t be forever. I’m going after them. The way I should have a long time ago.” Anger and bitterness vibrate through his words and I’m suddenly rocked by the secrets I’ve kept from him about his mother. Things I’ve already decided I have to tell him but not now, when those things could be triggers. Not until this is over, I think. I don’t dare. So I focus on just how this ends.
“What comes next?” I ask, aware I won’t approve, but I’m not sure it matters anymore. It feels like someone is going to die, and I don’t want it to be Eric or my mother.
Chapter sixty-seven
Harper
“There are two Navy sayings I live by. No plan survives first contact. In other words, have a backup plan to your backup plan. We need to go downstairs and meet with Blake and his team and figure out what comes next.” He stands and takes me with him.