Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
"Are you okay?" I ask when I manage to find my voice.
"You really want to break up with me?" he asks at the same time.
I shake my head no as tears slip down my cheeks again. I’ve been crying all afternoon.
"Things like today are why I don't want to attend college. Kaleo has it out for me. I'm worried he'll come after you as soon as I'm not here to protect you." He runs his hand through his hair, messing it all up. "He knows how I feel about you. It's not like it's a big secret. That's why Corey said what he did today. He knew I'd go after him for it. Kaleo wanted that shit to happen. If Titan and the boys hadn't shown up…"
I'm not sure how I feel about that. Until today, I guess I never realized just how bad things are with Kaleo. I knew things weren't great—I mean, he shot out Cade's windows—but Cade and Titan keep a lot from me.
A lot more than I fully grasped until today.
Would Corey and his friend have killed Cade if Titan and the boys hadn't shown up?
Is this the first time they've done something like this?
It scares the crap out of me that I don't know how to answer either of those questions. But I don't want to talk about that yet. I think I'm afraid of the answers.
"What's not a big secret?" I whisper instead, dashing away my tears.
Cade stares at me, as solemn and serious as ever. "That I'm crazy in love with you."
My heart stops beating for a second before it races away from me.
He pushes away from the post and steps toward me, still moving slowly. He reaches out to wipe away my tears with gentle hands. "Everyone knows I'm in love with you. It'd break my fucking heart if Kaleo did something to hurt you to get at me, January."
"I don't want you to put your entire future on hold for me," I tell him, trying not to cave on this even though I really want to right now. But this is important. Real damn important.
He and Titan may protect me from a lot, but I know what kind of neighborhood we live in. I know how many kids never make it out of places like this. Instead, they end up just like Kaleo. That's not the kind of future I want for Cade. He's too smart to end up stuck here with no way out. He's too good to wind up like Kaleo.
"It's not much of a future without you." Cade gives me a sad little smile. "I want to be the guy who says I'll let you go if that's what you really want, but I'm not that guy, January. I won't give you up without a fight."
"You're the only thing I've ever wanted, Cade. But you have to go to college. You're the smartest person I know. You've wanted to do something important with your life for as long as I've known you. I love you too much to let you throw that away."
He freezes, his body going still even as a smile stretches across his handsome face. Some of the sadness leeches from his expression, replaced by hope. He's so beautiful when he's happy. "You love me?"
"I've always loved you," I tell him. It's the truth. Maybe fifteen is too young to know what I'm talking about. But I know that seeing him happy makes me happy. When he's sad, it breaks my heart. My chest hurts when I think about never kissing him again. I know I've never looked at anyone else like I do at him. My life is better because he's in it, and when I think about him not being here, I can't breathe. And I know that I'd rather break my own heart than watch him throw his life away for me. If that's not love, then I don't know what is.
"UCLA isn't far from here," he murmurs, still smiling. "I researched that shit today. It's a thirty-minute drive from our block to campus. I could do that."
"You want to go to UCLA?"
"They have a pretty good literature program. I could probably get a scholarship for my grades. They offer a lot of them."
"You looked into it?" I ask.
He nods. "Yeah, I went to the library today. I figured if you were going to break up with me for not going to school, I needed to devise a different plan." He runs his thumb over my bottom lip. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you, January."
"Promise you'll find a way to go to a real school? A good one," I clarify.
"I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy," he says, completely serious. "But I won't ever leave you here alone, little monster. I can't do that."