Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 54852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
“Yeah, but you’re missing my point.” Finn didn’t seem bothered by my biting tone. Even if I disagreed with him, I still appreciated his willingness to spar with me. “It’s all luck. Grandpa lived a long and healthy life until he passed in his sleep at home, the way he wanted. But for every story like his, there’s one like my dad. All those good long-life genetics and he died in a freak accident at the farm.”
“I’m sorry. Losing a parent is the worst.” He’d mentioned his father’s passing before, and then, as now, my heart hurt for their whole family. Life wasn’t fair, that much was certain.
“Yeah, it is. And I wasn’t a kid like you when I lost my dad, but still, I figured on having him for decades more. Was he supposed to not marry? Not have a family? All because he might die too soon?”
“No. Of course not.” I wasn’t ever going to suggest a world without Finn in it. “But there’s a difference between random tragedy and a pattern.”
“I know genetics. I see patterns broken all the time on the farm.” Finn pulled off a piece of the roll that had come with his meal, voice staying reasonable and conversational as he buttered it. “But I’m not trying to talk you into a relationship.”
“Yeah.” I hoped my tone didn’t betray how much a certain part of me wished he would.
It might not be logical or fair, but I wouldn’t mind being wanted by this man. Finding someone I could talk frankly with like this was rare. I liked how he stuck to his ground without crossing over into unpleasantness, reminding me of long philosophical debates among friends in law school. I’d missed that sort of camaraderie. He was wrong, but I liked him even more for it.
“Like I said, I’ve got my own reasons for avoiding anything long-term, but sparing my partner potential grief isn’t one of them. It’s silly to deny yourself happiness simply because of what might happen.”
“You sound like my mother,” I said before taking a careful sip of my soup. I hadn’t read the menu closely enough, and it was far richer than I’d expected, velvety and salty on my tongue. I’d be doing a few more miles tomorrow on my stationary bike, but much like this conversation, and this man, I couldn’t simply walk away from something so good.
“She’s very smart. And at least she got you to think long-term for the bookstore.” Finn polished off the rest of his quiche.
“Well…”
“What?” He licked a stray buttery crumb off his full lower lip, and I almost forgot what I’d been about to say. I had to look away before I did something silly, like kissing him over the table.
“It’s just that I figured if I do die young, at least she’ll have the store of her dreams. I can make that come true for her if nothing else.”
Finn’s whole body softened, sympathy I wanted nothing to do with, and yet his expression felt almost like an embrace. “Oh, Harry—”
He was cut off by the buzzing of his phone, which he fished out of pocket. “Fuck. Sorry. Universe apparently wants me to take a vow of chastity.”
“Another farm emergency?”
“The ducklings hatched a few days ago. But Rachel can’t get one of the warming lamps in their pen to work right, and she’s worried about the overnight temperatures. She’s pretty resourceful, so if she says it’s a problem, it is.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” And I did. We’d come a long way from the fevered kisses back at the store. If Finn was having second thoughts about getting physical and needed a fast retreat, I could understand. And I also understood his loyalty and commitment to his family. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for my mother.
“Rain check?” Finn offered me a crooked grin, but I wasn’t sure how sincere he was.
“If you’d like.” I studied my napkin rather than his eyes.
“You think I’m scared off by your big revelation?”
Aware that Finn needed to leave soon, I pushed my soup bowl aside and motioned to the server before I answered. “Perhaps. It’s hardly a sexy subject.”
“You. You’re a sexy subject.” This time, Finn wouldn’t let me look away, holding my gaze. There was plenty of heat in his expression, but also more than a little challenge, like he was daring me into something. “And yes, I want that rain check. I think you need to live a little more.”
If living was a euphemism for needing way more of his kisses, then I agreed, but I had a feeling he meant more than sex. “Maybe.”
“I’m right. You’ll see.” He grinned wider.
I truly hoped he was right. Even if his optimism confounded me, I was still counting down until the next time the farm let me borrow him for a few hours.