Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 73817 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73817 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“Actually, squid have eight arms and two tentacles, if we’re being nitpicky.”
Sean sighs. “And now you’re gonna give me a lecture about the difference between an arm and a tentacle?”
“Nope. You can wonder about it all day long or google it, doesn’t matter to me. I’m still wondering whether we’re doing dinner tonight, like I asked.”
He gulps the last of his juice, then sets down his glass. Something seems to occur to him. “Oh, I think I have a late modeling thing at the college. I need to ask Vann about it. I can’t remember if it’s tonight or tomorrow. He was going to take me so you wouldn’t have to.”
“I don’t mind,” I insist, leaning forward. “I’d be happy to drive you out to campus. Between our new bartender and Chase, the Easy Breezy’s covered.”
“Are you kidding me? This weekend is going to be just as busy as last weekend, if not worse. Everyone’s getting in their last vacations before the summer’s over. I’ll take you up on your offer in the fall,” he decides with a nod, “since it’ll be calmer here on the island, and there will be twice as many classes going on, so I’ll be busier and more needed.”
He even sounds more confident than before, making all of these decisions, being proactive with his new life … It’s a wonder I had doubts at all of Sean holding his own. I feel like I should just sit back, smile, and let him run things.
Isn’t this exactly what I wanted for him?
“What?” he says, frowning.
I lift my eyebrows. “Hmm?”
“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”
I’m just proud of you, I’d say, but instead I shrug. “It sounds to me like you have everything thought out.”
“You think I’m wrong?”
“Nope. You’re right. The bar will be busy tonight. I’ll stick around in case the new bartender needs help or Chase has a panic attack over another nightmare Tinder date.”
“He should stop using dating apps.”
“Chase is convinced he’s always one date away from paradise.” I meet Sean’s eyes. “You’ll be back late, then?”
“Shouldn’t be later than ten or eleven, if it’s tonight.”
“Still early enough for dessert on the boardwalk.”
To that, he smiles. “Sounds great.”
We gaze at each other, smiling at the idea, at ourselves, at whatever is happening between us.
Then, as usual, reality sets in.
Sean’s eyes are as immediately present as they are so far away, like a reflection in the water I can’t touch without the ripples stealing it away, or a dream I just woke up from and struggle to remember.
I wonder what we are becoming, if anything.
That night, I’m still lost in the same thought as I make drink after drink, absentmindedly staring off between the orders. Sean was right: it’s a busy-as-hell Friday with no end in sight. Once one group clears out, another group is at the door to take their place. The bar is so packed and loud, it’s anything but easy or breezy. I find myself checking the clock every ten minutes, wondering how Sean is doing. I try to picture him doing his modeling work, wondering what that must be like. Vann is with him, so I know Sean’s safe and not being taken advantage of right now. They’re all art students with legitimate goals and intentions. When he comes back, I get to hear all about the experience. Sean never holds back with me, wanting to share everything.
I wonder if I could have done modeling back in my twenties. I’m not sure I have the daringness to do it. I’d be too stiff in front of the camera or too impatient to hold a pose for a room of painters or meticulous illustrators. Sean has found more than just a place for himself; he’s found a life full of friends, contacts, and purpose.
“So have you fellas used the L word yet?”
Chase asks me this during the rush when we’re both behind the counter. I’m in the middle of making shots.
“Nope.”
“Really? You guys have gotten so close, though.”
I give him a look. “How do you know how close we’ve gotten? The last time Sean helped out here was nearly three weeks ago and you didn’t even notice him.”
“He works like a ninja!”
“Are you spying on me, Chase?” I tease him. “Peeking through my bedroom window?”
He gives me side-eye. “What would I see if I did?”
I give him side-eye right back. “Get back to ringing up your customers before you forget to charge them at all, you dirty perv.”
“That only happened once because the guy was cute,” groans Chase, “and I am not a dirty perv. I’m a very clean perv.” He puffs up his chest, appearing proud of his joke.
The truth is, his question chases me around all night—pun intended. I never expected to truly fall into a serious, committed relationship with Sean. Ever since that night of his first bonfire—where I waited anxiously at home after having an unexpected blast from the past at the bar—the two of us seemed to have settled into something of a nice and comfortable roommates-with-benefits situation.