Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 228(@200wpm)___ 182(@250wpm)___ 152(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 228(@200wpm)___ 182(@250wpm)___ 152(@300wpm)
The more I think about Jacob’s words, the more I wish I’d said something else in response. My accusation will tarnish the moment. Is it really so crazy to think he wants me for me?
Returning to the apartment, I pour another mug of coffee. I’m wired already, but sleep is at the bottom of my priority list. I try not to look at the internet for comments about me and Jacob, but it’s like starting a fire and telling somebody to stand next to it without feeling the heat.
Which is to say… yeah, I cave. I look. It’s all as predictable as I knew it would be. Gold digger. I’m too young. Why is Jacob picking her, meaning me?
There are other comments, ones I didn’t expect. These tell the other commenters—the mean ones—to shut the hell up, to let us be happy. Jacob has never been seen in public with a woman before, and he looks like he’s having fun. We both do, so what’s the issue?
If it was just the public aspect of this, I think we could be okay, assuming Jacob told me the truth about his feelings, but what about Mom?
I sit on his couch looking at his expensive TV. This apartment is large and impressive, but it’s also a little too modern for my tastes. There’s a coldness to it which doesn’t match the Jacob I know, but maybe that’s it, the core of the issue. The Jacob I know isn’t the same man who initially moved into this apartment. He’s changed. I’m changing him. We’re changing each other.
I read another comment, a smile touching my lips.
Look at them. How are y’all gonna be mad at that? They’re clearly in love.
Almost an hour later, the front door opens. As I stand to greet him, I imagine doing exactly this when we’re a couple, when I’m his wife, just like he said he wanted.
He stops at the end of the hallway, looking as alert as me, as though the late hour is not affecting him. He’s wearing just his shirt, the sleeves rolled up, his top two buttons undone to show me a tempting sliver of his chest.
“Did you mean it?”
I watch him closely as I approach, like a skittish animal ready to flee. That’s not how I want to think of myself, but perhaps it’s what Mom’s warnings have turned me into. I’m done being that woman.
“All that stuff you said about us,” I say when he simply stares at me with that classically Jacob tense look.
His answer is to kiss me, which isn’t much of an answer at all, but it’s not as though I’m going to push him away. Even if that was my goal, my body wouldn’t let me. He turns, pressing me softly against the wall, our mouths opening in hunger.
I tell myself this is all the answer I need, the evidence that his words were true, but that could be an excuse to just keep kissing. My hands rise naturally to his shoulders, his muscles firm against my palms, reminding me of his power. Not that I need a reminder.
With a groan, he begins to slide his hand up my inner thigh. Instincts tell me to let him. Don’t stop him. Give into the lust and worry about the rest later, but I have to know. I deserve to, don’t I?
It takes every ounce of effort to lay both hands against his chest, to push hard enough to create some distance between us. It’s not a lot, just a tiny amount, but it’s enough so I can look up at him. He must be able to see how serious this is to me.
“You have to answer my question.”
“I’m afraid to.”
“Afraid?” I whisper. “Why?”
He does one of my favorite things, brushing the hair from my face. It’s the physical sensation of him tickling my cheek, but it’s also the intimacy as though we’re a couple. We are a couple. He said it, even before he revealed the full truth.
“It’s not usual, is it?” he says gruffly. “Laying eyes on a woman, then knowing she’s yours… knowing you’re mine. It’s the sort of thing that scares women away. I didn’t plan on telling you. Not yet, but I can’t hold it inside anymore. You’re mine, Maddie. That’s the truth.”
“The truth,” I repeat, letting out a long breath. “I think I owe you that, too.”
He cradles the small of my back with both his hands. I sense him wanting to slide lower to my ass, and I desperately long for it, too. To feel his savage touch and his undeniable lust.
He nods, his eyes wide, with a hint of… not fear, exactly, but it’s like he’s expecting the worse. Maybe he thinks I’m going to tell him I have a boyfriend, or I can’t do this because of Mom.