Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“It is,” I assure him, still chortling. “It so definitely is.”
He doesn’t say anything, but when he raises his cup for another sip, I see it. His lips...his beautiful lips...are doing its best to fight off a smile, and oh, it’s the most divinely beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in a long, long time.
A Danish philosopher once said that life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. I stumbled across the quote a few weeks ago in between gobbling down strawberry mochi and sobbing over the happy-ever-after that my otome game heroine won for herself. But don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my virtual twin, or that I was envious about it. It’s only that those words made me realize—-
Everyone was right.
I didn’t believe Kelly when she told me there were things that were out of my control, didn’t believe her when she told me that I could love a person without loving myself less. And Yuki...when Yuki told me that he didn’t want my love, that he wouldn't want my love again, I hadn’t wanted to believe him either. But now I know he was right to feel that way.
They were all right.
Maybe it was because I was too young. Maybe it was because all the things that happened were too much. Maybe it was even destined, so I could be stronger when it was my mom who needed me. Maybe it’s none of those, maybe it’s all of those and more but now that I’m older and just a little wiser –
I realize that the reasons are immaterial.
What matters is that I now know how to love him without hurting either of us.
“So...” Yuki’s stiff voice cuts through my thoughts. “That was what you wanted to ask?”
“No, not that.” My voice becomes cautious. “And it’s really not my business—-”
“If that’s the case, don’t ask it then.”
I make a face. “That’s actually it.”
Yuki appears bemused. “I beg your pardon?”
“Why have you changed so much?” I blurt out. “You were our high school’s angel. That’s what they literally called you, remember? I mean, I know you were faking it, but no one else did, and you were very careful...”
When my voice trails off, Yuki says smoothly, “I’m certain you can guess why.”
Oh.
Another memory comes to me, but this time it’s not as pleasant. It’s Yuki, telling me how he once caught his mother cheating on his dad, and how – even after telling Akito-san what he saw – the latter had believed in his wife’s lies instead. Sascha had said that Yuki was making up stories because he was jealous of his own mother, and Akito had fallen for it, hook, line, and bloody sinker.
Yuki had never trusted anyone after that, had turned himself into a model son just so Sascha would never find any of his weaknesses.
But now that Sascha’s gone, her true colors exposed—-
“Was Akito-san shocked by your transformation?” I ask tentatively.
“I can’t say.” Yuki’s tone is bland. “I’m not certain he’s noticed any changes. He’s been very busy lately.” He pauses. “You know about it?”
I nod. “My friend Vivi told me about you—-” I stop then correct myself. “Actually, she was telling me about this “resident bad boy” and how his father’s become a billionaire overnight, and at that time I didn’t know she was talking about you.” I laugh nervously. “What a coincidence, right?”
Yuki responds by taking another sip of his tea.
Riiiiight. I should remember that this is the new and real Yuki now. No cocky one-liners, no last words, no—-
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me then?” Yuki’s tone is extremely polite, and because I know him, I recognize the signs. It’s his way of telling me I’m wasting his time, and if I don’t mind, he’d like to go now, thank you very much.
I lift my chin. Sorry, Yuki, but that’s not part of the plan.
His blue eyes narrow when I smile at him widely, saying, “Actually, it’s not.” My hands start to sweat and I quickly hide them under the bar. “The reason I wanted to talk to you is...” I take a deep breath. Here we go.
I jump off the bar and give him a deep bow. “Mōshiwake arimasen deshita.” I am deeply sorry. When I straighten, the first thing I see is Yuki’s stunned expression, and I manage a smile despite the way my lips are trembling. “Because you were right. I loved you to the point of madness, and while that sounds good on paper...it was downright ugly in real life. So...” My voice falters, and I drag air into my lungs.
Who knew those words would make me feel like I’ve run for miles?
Yuki is still staring at me. “What exactly are you saying?”
Oh. I’ve forgotten how good he is at reading between the lines.