Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
This was real now.
So, so fucking real. Kind of like I was going to get totally wigged out if I kept thinking about it for too long.
I thought of what my grandma said the first time I’d shown her an episode of the Fixer Brothers TV show.
“You’d be so perfect for this show,” Gram had said. “They’d love you, Shaney.”
“I don’t know about that,” I’d told her.
She’d just waved a hand through the air, chuckling. “Just give ‘em a good blue-eyed wink and a Tennessee yee-haw, and they’ll put you on the show in an instant.”
My heart twisted in my chest like someone was wringing it out.
“You good, Shane?” Rowen asked, and I realized I was still just staring up at the ceiling, my gaze lost in the glow of the Christmas lights.
“I need something to distract me,” I said, looking back down at him.
“I’m game. Want me to bust out Trivial Pursuit? I will fuck your ass up in that game, just so you know, but I’m always down.”
I shifted on the couch, turning toward him. “Let’s talk about you for once, Rowen. Tell me everything about you.”
He shut his laptop and leaned back on his couch, giving me a doubtful look. “Me? Not interesting.”
“I beg to differ,” I said. “I think you’re the most interesting thing in this room right now.”
He snorted. “Now that’s just an insult to my tree ornaments,” he protested. “Come on. I have one that literally changes color based on the temperature. That’s pretty damn interesting.”
“I do like that one,” I said. “But I’ve wanted to know more about you since the moment I met you, and I feel like you’ve told me nothing.”
Rowen gave me a dubious look, then glanced down at his pants.
Was he actually looking a little insecure?
What on Earth could he have to be unsure about, though? He was pretty much perfect, as far as I could tell, handsome and charming and well-off and—
“Wanted to be an actor since I was a kid, moved to New York for acting school, still trying to make it happen. Done,” he said quickly, like he was trying to shoo off a fly.
I bit the inside of my cheek.
He really didn’t like talking about himself, apparently.
“No, no, no,” I protested. I got comfortable on the couch, looking over at him. “I already know that stuff. I want to know about the real you.”
“The real me,” he said, pushing back. Something changed in his eyes.
“Yeah. What was your childhood like? What do you do out in New York? What are you going to do when you go back?”
He picked up his glass, tossing back a big gulp of whiskey ginger. “Who knows. Go to more auditions until I can’t take it anymore, I guess. What are you going to do after the New Year?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m tired of talking about me. You’re going to get to know my whole family, too, at this Christmas party—God help you. For now, I just want to focus on you.”
He bit his lower lip. Something about the way he looked made me want to pull him in and tell him everything was going to be okay, even though I couldn’t put my finger on why, exactly.
“I… like the holidays,” he said, “but I guess you already know that, too. I like… Italian food. And doughnuts.”
“...and long walks on the beach?” I teased him.
I was mostly joking around, hoping for a way to get my mind off of submitting the damn video, but I realized that it was really true that Rowen was very uncomfortable talking about his life.
I was a shy guy, and Rowen wasn’t—but when any conversation turned to me asking him questions about himself, he deflected. Normally it would have been a red flag for me when I was making a friend. But there wasn’t anything really suspicious about Rowen, either. My intuition told me that he was a good person, but… that there was something else beneath the surface.
“I can tell you one thing I’ve been keeping secret,” Rowen finally said. He looked over at me, and something in his eyes had softened.
My heart skipped a beat.
Truthfully, Rowen had never looked better. The soft light from the Christmas tree only made his cheekbones more prominent, and that same urge to get close to him came back in full force.
“Okay. Tell me,” I said.
He looked at my mouth. “It feels good to kiss you,” he said.
Something in my chest went a little molten. “You’ve already told me that one, too,” I challenged him, but in reality he could tell me that a thousand times and I’d never get sick of it. “It feels good for me, too.”
He took a swig of his drink and set the glass down. “Your lips, Shane…”
Fuck. I knew he was deflecting again, but when he looked at me like that, it went straight to my cock in a way that I had very little control over. All I could do was look at his half-lidded eyes like I was some feral animal, craving his closeness.