Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75626 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75626 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
I look at it and sigh. “I don’t know. Alex . . .” Another sigh and the threat of tears make me pause. “I love him. I fell hard and fast. Of course, I never told him because he’s this larger than life pro athlete and I thought there’s no way in hell he’d want to be with mousy little me.”
“You’re anything but mousy, Kelsey.”
“I’m his little spoon,” I say quietly. “And then I run into Tanner.”
“He’s been through a lot,” mom says. “His daughter is adorable.”
“That might be the case, but he left me, remember?” I remind her. “We’d made plans and he just took this road trip and decided to stay in Texas. He didn’t even ask if I wanted to join him. He just left. It was as if he forgot about me.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t the case.”
“You’re right. He probably met the woman that became his wife.” I had always thought Tanner cheated, but never wanted to believe it. Now, I think my suspicions were right. But do I care? I’m not sure I do. Alex may have withheld the truth about his relationship with Maggie, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind that Tanner was unfaithful to me.
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Mom says. “And Alex?”
“His ex is pregnant. The last thing he told me was he didn’t know if the baby was his or not, which is why I’ve stepped away,” I tell her. “I was under the impression they hadn’t seen each other in a while but she was in Portland a few months before we met, and they hooked up. He didn’t tell me, not that he had to, until she showed up again on his doorstep.”
“Did he know?”
I shake my head. “No, he didn’t. He was pretty shaken up and nervous about it. He says things don’t have to change but if the baby is his, I don’t want to be the reason his or her parents aren’t together.”
“While I commend you for saying that, you’re assuming Alex wants to be with his ex.”
“I know. And I know it’s wrong to assume he does, but I can’t help the history there. And with a baby now in the mix, I feel squeezed out. His fans love her, the team loves her. I’m the outlier in the equation.”
My mom pats my hand. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You have a lot to offer someone whether it’s Alex, Tanner, or someone else.”
“Tanner isn’t an option, Mom. I know you and Dad like him, but I have zero thoughts on rekindling anything with him. Besides, how can I justify being with him and not Alex? And I love Alex.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because my heart is broken and he’s very much part of my life in Portland.”
I never text Tanner back, but that doesn’t stop him from showing up at my parents in time to watch the football game on Sunday. I don’t know whose bright idea it was to watch the Pioneers, but they’re on the big screen and my mom has made a ton of appetizers. I don’t know what she’s playing at, whether she wants me to see Alex on television or spend time with Tanner. Either way, I’m not a fan.
Tanner kisses my cheek when he comes into the house. It’s as if he’s forgotten the handful of years we didn’t talk, and I hated him. I suppose he doesn’t know I hated him because we never hashed out his disappearance, and frankly it’s too late now to bring up old memories.
Still, he sits by me and makes it seem like we’re long-lost friends. I get that he lives here and sees my parents and Dalton regularly, but I’m not on that level of friendliness right now. I sit up when the camera pans the team and search for Alex. Dalton mentions something about Noah, but I ignore him. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to see Alex until now.
When they show him, he doesn’t look like himself. His helmet is off, and he looks . . . miserable. Nothing like the Alex I’m used to. Did I do that to him?
“Which one’s your client?” Tanner asks.
He’s not my client anymore because I quit on him, even though he refused to give up on me. I point to Alex before the camera pans to the other members of the team. “Alex Moore. He’s writing a children’s book on how to safely play football since there are so many concerns with concussions these days.”
“Yeah, it’s a pretty violent sport.”
I ignore his comment and continue to look for another glimpse of Alex.
The next time I see him is during the coin toss, and it’s only of his backside or a shot of his face with his helmet on. My heart double taps, reminding me that he’s the man I’m in love with, that I fell hard for and want back. But at what cost? I don’t know if I can take the public side of his life or the fact that his ex could be carrying his child. When there’s a commercial, I excuse myself and go into the kitchen. Tanner follows.