Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88849 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 444(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88849 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 444(@200wpm)___ 355(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
His answer shouldn’t have appeased me, but somehow it did. And over the next few months, the rest of his words had taken root inside of me. They helped heal the wounds from losing Aumae. Maybe it wasn’t completely Aumae either. Maybe it was the loss of everything. I’d been lying to myself before when I cast that spell. I was only six years old, but I didn’t want to accept who my parents were. They were evil and I couldn’t grow up with knowing them, seeing them, feeling them, but I also couldn’t leave. I would’ve had to leave Kellan, and even back then, I knew I couldn’t have done that. So I cast that spell and wiped out anything that would’ve reminded me about my parents, or the two demons that raised me.
I thought I could live like that. I couldn’t. Going through all of this, it was like I was becoming clean for the first time. All the lies, deceit, mystery, jealousy, everything bad that I had to endure because of what family I lived among—that was all gone.
And I mourned it. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have missed Vespar, or Guiseppa. I did. I shouldn’t have even missed Matt, Leah, and Dylan. I did.
I should’ve been furious with Damien for betraying us. I wasn’t.
Everything was mixed up in my head, but the constant was Kellan. His love. His presence. Every time I felt that vacuum inside, of where I didn’t understand the world I was in any more, I reached out for him. He was always close by, and if he felt that same dark vortex in me, he’d appear from wherever he’d been. Once I touched him, I felt steadied. He grounded me. We were that tree once again, our roots strengthening with the other next to it.
That went on and on until one day, I didn’t miss Vespar, Giuseppa, Leah, Matt, Dylan, my old life. The anger, confusion, sadness was gone, and instead, I was able to realize why I missed them. That’d been my constant. It was what I knew, and now with the threat of my father gone and no more lies anymore, could look ahead now.
I assumed Damien was going through the same struggles as me, over what he did, until the day he must’ve worked through his own battles. He announced one morning that he was returning to his family. We were welcome to come. We were half-brother and sister, after all. I nodded, with no intention of seeking him out. I’d held on to my anger toward him for a few months, but it faded when Kellan reminded me Aumae wouldn’t want me to hate my last blood relative.
I snorted in laughter that it was Kellan who pointed that out, but I knew he did it for me. He promised to be angry for me, and slowly, I started to look at Damien like a brother. Started to. Those were the operative words. We were a work in progress as well, but I wasn’t ready to leave the sanctuary home when he first made that offer.
“You sure about this?” Kellan asked me now.
I glanced at him from the passenger side in our car. We had just pulled over in front of Damien’s house. Even though we just arrived, I knew Damien was aware we were there. Once Kellan and I fully merged together, Damien and I could block each other, but spending so much time in the sanctuary together, that connection had grown. I opened my end when I decided I wanted to meet the rest of Damien’s family. Damien knew we’d been coming even as we began to pack our stuff for the road trip. I wasn’t surprised when the front door opened a moment later.
Kellan gestured behind me. “He’s coming to the car.”
I turned around. Damien’s smile stretched from ear to ear as he hurried across the yard. He waved with one hand. I saw an elderly woman appear in the doorway behind him. A little girl stood in front, holding a teddy bear.
I was suddenly nervous.
“Don’t be.”
I didn’t look back at Kellan, but I replied, “They might hate me.”
“You’re Damien’s half-sister. They’ll love you.”
“Hey!” Damien was at the door. He motioned for us to get out. “It’s so good to see you guys.” He pulled me in for a hug, and I hugged him back, but I couldn’t stop looking at the people in the doorway. What did they know about me? Had he told them anything?
“It’s so good to see you guys.” Damien stepped back and nodded to Kellan, who’d come around the side of the car. “Kellan.”
Kellan nodded for his greeting.
“Are you guys staying for a while?”
Damien’s gaze fell on me as he asked the question. I knew Kellan wouldn’t answer. It was for me to decide. I shrugged. “Depends on you, I guess.”