Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 36691 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 183(@200wpm)___ 147(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36691 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 183(@200wpm)___ 147(@250wpm)___ 122(@300wpm)
She stares, saying nothing.
“I don’t know who he is but keep him away from my daughter.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
“I just did. And don’t even think about asking her to lie to me, Aubrey.”
With those parting words, I walk away.
11
When I get back to my new, outdated apartment, my mood isn’t any better. I’m angry, pissed off, and frankly, exhausted from feeling all those things. Yet, no matter what I do, my ex finds a way to twist her serrated knife a little bit more, to make me feel pain I never thought I’d feel. I open the refrigerator and wish beer would appear. I haven’t bought any because I don’t want to give Aubrey ammunition to use against me in any proceedings.
“He drinks in front of Amelie.” My mind changes her voice from the one I love—well loved—to some nasally whiny nails on the chalkboard sound. She’s never sounded like how I’m imagining, but she needs to in my mind right now because hearing her voice still sends a fucking jolt to my system.
Loved.
Who am I joking? I still love her and probably will for some time. But I can’t think of anything but her kissing that man across the street. It wasn’t a friendly kiss. Not like the kisses she gave me weeks ago. No, that was a thanks for rocking my world, can’t wait to see you tonight kiss. I know those kisses. I’ve lived with them for many, many years.
Now, I live with nothing but painful memories that my mind keeps telling me have been filled with lies and deceit. How has she moved on already? I find it impossible, unless he’s the reason she’s moved us here.
No, she didn’t move us. She moved here and demanded her children come with her, because no matter what, at the end of the day, she’s a mother, and a damn good one.
I moved here out of my own selfish need. I wanted her to want me, to see that she needed me, but she didn’t. Aubrey placated me until she’d had enough.
But then . . . why make love to me? Why tell me she wanted to try and fix things?
None of it makes sense, and I don’t think I’ll get an answer out of her any time soon. She knows cheating is a hard limit for me.
Nope.
Just like now.
“Ugh,” I push my hands into my hair and tug on the ends, pulling until my scalp screams and burns. Honestly, that feels better than the giant hole in my chest does. I look down, expecting to see a red spot or blood oozing from the gaping wound left by Aubrey.
Another flash of her and the man across the street.
They’d definitely been together, I surmise. The way he tilted her head back with the lift of her chin. The way he brushed her hair out of her face, curling the loose strands behind her ear. Her breasts, full and voluptuous, pressing into his chest while her fingers toyed with the waistband of his pants. I can only imagine her smile. The same one she’d given to me for years she now gave to someone else.
I take my phone from my pocket and dial the director of my program. He begged me to come back, to be on staff, and I reluctantly agreed knowing I needed an out when things went south. They are as far south as they’re going to get in my opinion.
“Nick, what can I do for you,” Kirk says when our call connects.
“I need to get out of my contract,” I tell him, only to realize I should’ve started off with some elaborate excuse, like my mom’s sick or my house flooded. Neither of which are true, and ideas I don’t want to put out in the universe. Mostly because I hate lying about situations that could come true. Honesty is the best and only policy. Deep down, this is something Aubrey and I should’ve practiced a year ago when she began to turn my advances away. Instead, I retreated to the office and slept on the couch. That was my mistake.
There’s a long pause, followed by a sigh. “I can’t do that, Nick.”
Somewhere, deep in the recesses of my mind, I knew this. “I don’t need the money,” I tell him. “I’ll pay back what you’ve given me.”
“Nick, it’s not that. We need you. Now that you’re signed on until November, others are heading home to see their families. I can’t tell them they can’t go.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, knowing full well I should’ve never agreed to this. “Things aren’t good for me here,” I tell him. “Aubrey and I—”
“I heard,” he says. “Honestly, I was a bit surprised by the whole thing.”
“Yeah.” I was but wasn’t. It’s not like she didn’t tell me she wanted this months ago.